Today, so far, my kids have destroyed my AP1 rims (which I use for snow tires) - they figured that turning them face down on concrete was a good way to wash them. Of course concrete and painted metal do not agree. Rims are scratched beyond repair.

They have also completely ruined the vinyl floor in my kitchen (a hot UV turtle tank light should definitely sit bulb down on the vinyl, right?) Huge burn, in the most visible part.

They are both POd about our move to NC, but this is the first wanton destruction. Did any of you have problems with your kids when moving? I could use some tips.

thanks,
Dave

 

How old are the kids? Are you sure it was "wanton destruction" vs "kids just don't think", meaning they don't think about what they are doing, what will happen if they do this or that, they just don't think beyond the moment.

 

From your implication that it was intentionally done, I'm guessing the kids are older.

I had to make a move once that upset one of my children.

Looking back with 20-20 vision, I think I should have tried to get him and myself more involved in some of the things he was interested in doing. Maybe some of the activities we never got around to before we moved. Then he would have had a reason to like being in the new area.

Don't let your work interfere with your time spent with your children. When a move is made, usually the job requires more time, compounding the childrens insecurity. The children may just be asking (scratched wheels, burned floor?? ) or screaming for more attention as a result.

Good luck.

Willinathen

 

13 and 7 - and 2 good points. The 13 year old is hell bent on deraling the move, and told us that to our faces, the 7 year old knocked off the lamp that destroyed the flooring - her sister was using it to clean her turtle tank earlier in the day and "decided she was going to leave it on for a while".

I've never had to deal with this with kids before so I'm stupified and also a darned bit irritated. They have both been talked to ans asked to help with the house maintenacne during the move.

Dave

 

Those are about the same ages mine were when we moved.

I'd suggest finding something the teen has been wanting to do but you haven't been able to support for whatever reason. Involvement in a sport, camping, fishing, skateboarding, dancing, even if it's something you hate. Then make the time or effort to make it happen for them. Hopefully it will lead to new friends, interests and more time spent with you.

I tried the "You're the oldest, I need your help with the move" stuff and it didn't work all that well. Teens are very self centered, they don't care what you need.

From your teen's viewpoint, you got what you wanted and he/she has to pay for it.

Willinathen

 

Give it a couple of days; perhaps these events were a coincidence. I agree with above comments that show concern about the kid's disruption. But, there have to be limits too, and kids can't be tails wagging the dog, when it comes what's best-for-the-family decisions. It can be tough; I moved my kids over a dozen times and some went better than others. Wish all of you well.

 

That's good advice even if you aren't moving. Kids need time and attention. No matter how many hours you work you have to make time for your kids (and your wife).

Try to get them somehow involved in the move. I don't know how, but it seems to me that if they become involved with it, they won't be so much of a problem.

 

Not having any kids (and not wanting any), I can't help too much from the adult side. When I was a kid, I moved 24 times before I was 21 years old, so I can look at it from the other side. I never really had a problem with any of our moves, I just learned to roll with the punches. My sister on the other hand, went into some sort of a funk in junior high and I do believe it lasted until she died. Some kids just take it differently than others.

 

I'm sure your children are feeling extremely insecure about leaving all the things they've learned to like or love behind, especially their friends. Even our adult kids get funky whenever we mention that we're interested in the possibility of moving just into a newer home!! Whenever we take a trip and leave our youngest who is now 22 years old, she sinks into a mini-depressive state and manages to either become ill or wreck her car (its happened 3 times). Make sure they know that they can still stay in touch with their old friends by im or telephone. Once they get to their new home and make new friends they'll be fine, but there will be a period of adjustment.

 

Thanks for letting me vent, folks, and for some really good suggestions!!
I'm going to try a bunch of them out. We are taking the girls with us to the Dragon in a couple of weeks as well, so hopefully they will get to see how beautiful that area is, and they do have a few friends down there already - kids of my firends - similar ages.

But thank goodness the schoolbus was on time today. I don't think I could have handled another day like yesterday very well.

Here's a pic of the new house

House

Dave