Some of us have been around longer than others and during that time we have learned a lot about life. I am interested in those situations that we have gotten ourselves into and what we learned from those times. I am talking about situations that have actually happened to us, not that we have heard about like using a lighter to look into the gas tank, etc.

I will start:
When you give your wife a new mop for her birthday, you better have a set of earrings in a box behind your back.

 

When short on dog food, never feed your six dogs canned chili with beans.

 

If you are out of dishwasher detergent don't use regular handwashing dish detergent

 

I have a similar one.

When you have a dog with a weak stomach don't feed her leftover steak from a meal out

 

You never really know someone till they tell you they want a divorce. That is when they show their true self.

 

Don't cross a four lane highway on your bicycle without looking for traffic.

Don't believe everything anyone says.

Don't get married until you figure out who YOU are first. and DEFINITELY don't get married when you are only 19.

If you are woken by howling neighborhood cats outside your bedroom window, bark like a dog to chase them away.

Don't cast your fishing line directly above your boat's engine.

Don't stick your foot out in front of you to stop your skateboard, instead, drag one of your feet BEHIND the skateboard.

 

Get/buy what you really want the first time around. Ity saves money in the long run.

 

Dont ever tell your wife to go pick out whatever she wants.

 

A vacuum cleaner, no matter how impressive, does not a good Valentine's gift make.

 

Eat all your chocolate before someone else eats it for you.