Its ok bro,no worries

 

I feel for you and SWMBO. I had a fvcking nutcase on my hands this morning, too. I sobbed in his arms at what's become of him since we met and was he laughing soon thereafter. Marijuana long term and with heavy use is not funny. I'll have my Cali house back to my very own in a few months. He plans to move into an old motorhome and become a vagabond and he wanted to do that, not my idea. Much more in his comfort zone.

 

^ That will probably be for the best. You only have control over what you do about it, not his actions. One question is who will take care of the house/cats when you are not there? Good luck.

 

Did not realize he was still living with you after returning from CA. Must be difficult at times. I suppose that you just have to go with the flow as long as he is not a danger to himself or others. And assume it has some meaning for him and accept whatever it is. Good luck to you, too.

 

Good luck,Jerry.

 

You may not be able to read this, but here is an article from today's WaPo on what schizophrenia does to families.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/magaz...p/?arc404=true

 

Yeah, I know that movie. Fortunately we do not have the paranoid part in our script. i.e. no violence.
That does not mean the dissociative or delusional part isn't there.
The remarkable talent that was once there but having long ago evaporated like spilled water in the noon day sun.
Several lines resonated really well. I agree our mental health and legal system are fundamentally broken.
"See Something, Say Something!" , yep absolute BULLSHIT!!!
There are two states in mental care, 'dangerous' absolute lockdown, or your fine and free to go. nothing gray in the middle.
And absolutely ridiculous privacy rules.
As a nutcase you could have any contract voided sign by someone on grounds of mental incapacity.
But, as an advocate for them, you can't talk to their doctors until they' who are locked up for mental incapacity, sign the HIPPA release...

A staggering number of guests in our penal systems a folks suffering from mental illness on the order of 30-40 %.
Sometimes the poorly functioning brain simply cannot recognize the difference between right and wrong.

There are two aspects I truly hate.
Someone suffering from mental illness can't see their disease or its affects. Couple that with the effects of the meds make the person feel "different."
For my Peripheral Neuropathy, I am on a very low dose of one of those style meds. I spent the first two weeks drooling it screwed me up so bad.
Consequently, they reject treatment since "it isn't needed."

The other is mental illness is self sustaining. Every instant, we make our decisions based on prior experiences and outcomes.
'I touched the stove, it was hot and it hurt, I won't do that again." sort of thing.
Schizophrenia breaks the memory storage part. The conditional part is distorted as well as the outcome.
The experiential part is now muddied and unreliable.
Over time, the individuals memories become unreliable and become a larger and larger set of their experiences for future decisions.
They reach a point where it is very hard to tease apart what really happened and what happened in their imagination.

Take all of that, try and put in context in your mind.
Now try and negotiate with that person to do ( or not do) something.
Sometimes easy, sometimes they walk around mumbling "why are you still in my house?"
This is your own flesh and blood, you love them with every fiber of your heart.
But at the same time, the anger that can inspired when you come home on a very cold day,
when he has been smoking in the house ( forbidden) and every window and door has been left wide open.
Or perhaps finding the previously full, now empty bottle of macallan 18, a $300 scotch that was locked away.
Or a newly dented fender and a foot print clearly evident.
This is where the ellipsis ... those three little dots that indicate a redaction , as this list doesn't appear to have an end.
Sounds trivial but after 11 years of climbing this sisyphean hillside, patience wears very thing.

 

Jerry your experiences make me feel fortunate. Our daughter put us through living hell as a paranoid schizophrenic in her teens and 20s. She is now 50 and has gone on to live an apparently fairly normal life with a husband she meet in drug rehab. Their life centers around six dogs, four of which are still alive. I have no memory the last year she talked to us - - its been that long. The last time she communicated with us was a Christmas card in 2011. In the beginning she started out blaming me for her condition, then eventually both parents, and in the end she wants nothing to do with any family members including her brother and sister. After trying suicide several times we are just thankful she's alive. We are fortunate we can monitor her life a little via a online blog she keeps. She would likely take it down if she realized we know about it. We know all the barriers that the mental health system puts up when all you want to do is love them and help them.

 

While not religious myself, I was certainly inculcated into the culture.
'It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness."
Hopefully by publicly communicating about the topic I can get us just a little closer to getting help for the millions who need it.
It is painstakingly slow but technical progress is being made.
They are using MRI's to map the brain activities and are seeing differences between 'normal" brains and those who are schizophrenic.
It is wildly understating it when I say the brain is the most complicated organ in the body and collectively we don't know boopkas.

 

My 73 year old brother continues to fall through the cracks of mental health care. He had a decline from his barely functioning life after our sister passed and is now in nursing home again. He has taken to his bed. Lies there curtains drawn no tv on no interest in life. I saw him on Christmas Eve and he makes it known he wants to be left alone. Nursing home shrink says they can't change his meds which obviously are not working as he has a shrink in the community and he's not making an attempt to visit the shrink. So is nursing home shrink going to continue to prescribe meds that aren't working ? My sister in law had called the Council on mental health who actually sent someone to check on him. Not sure anything will come of that. He continues to exist and that is all he is doing. Hygiene fell by the wayside long ago. He looks like a homeless person. My brother is an extremely intelligent man and yet he can't find the strength emotionally to participate in life. His wife's health is not good. How she continues to go on is a mystery. She deserves some peace too. At least with him being cared for by others she can hopefully take better care of herself