My beloved Auntie (the one who died last year at 99) never really had Alzheimer's, just some dementia. Completely lost her short-term memory, but her long-term one stayed pretty much intact for the most part. In the last three years or so, she pretty much rewrote her personal history. Every time I'd talk about visiting somewhere, she'd say she'd been there, too. And that she met the Bushes (1) and that Barbara was a lovely person. And that Bill Bradley (form b-ball player and senator) was coming to visit her at the assisted living place and was her bf. It was all rather sweet. So far, my parents, 92 and 86, are still quite sharp mentally. I'm very thankful.

My best to all of you who are struggling. It's hard to see a loved one decline. Patience is definitely needed. Auntie repeated herself endlessly. One other fortunate thing about her was that she didn't recognize the passage of time near the end, so I didn't have to be with her constantly.

 

I hear ya loud and clear, my Dad turns 89 in January.

We had to convince my Dad several years ago he had to stop driving, he just did not have the speed to react or even the strength to handle the functions of driving, and boy oh boy did he ever dig his feet in. For us we had his truck registered for over a year during which he never drove once. So after a year or so of that he realized and gave it to us selling it.

Now as he has gotten weaker and spends most of his time in a wheelchair, the dementia is even more advanced and obvious. So amazingly sad, an engineer who could make anything. It saddens me deeply to know all that has been lost inside of his mind.

 

Extremely important!

For me one example is learning about how light and shadows can become such huge issues, a real eye opener. After learning more about this we made changes at Mom & Dad's and things did indeed improve.

 

One more piece of advice for anyone dealing with this.

When things get really bad, your loved one may not recognize you from time to time. Or, if you look like one of your parents, the afflicted person can even think you are their spouse. Keep in mind, their minds spend a lot of time in the distant past.

Do not argue with them. You cannot get them out of the "moment" they are in at that time. Play along with them in the conversation. It will keep them calmer then if you sit there insisting otherwise.

It's all VERY to deal with.

 

Here in lies the greatest truth...