Thought there may some good points here. If not, at least it's entertaining. I got this from my son.

The Retrosexual Code

OK folks, I have had it. I've taken all I can stand and I can't stand no more. Every time my TV is on, all that can be seen is effeminate men prancing about, redecorating houses and talking about foreign concepts like "style" and "feng shui." Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, metrosexual, non-sexual; blue, green, and purple-sexual bogus definitions have taken over the urban and suburban world!

Real men of the world, stand up, scratch your butt, belch, and yell "ENOUGH!" I hereby announce the start of a new offensive in the culture wars, the Retrosexual movement.

The Code:

A Retrosexual, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE.

A Retrosexual opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that fit that term only because they are female.

A Retrosexual DEALS with IT, be it a flat tire, break-in into your home, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT.

A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself.

A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and drinking, I salute you.

A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman. Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need an endcap (possibly 2 endcaps if you include shaving goods).

A Retrosexual does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he's 30 years old.

A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need be.

This falls under the "Dealing with IT" portion of The Code.

A Retrosexual watches no TV show with "Queer" in the title.

A Retrosexual does not let neighbors screw up rooms in his house on national TV.

A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness for women.

Some is inevitable, but major reinvention of yourself will only lead to you becoming a frou-frou little puss, and in the long run, she ain't worth it.

A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak tree chipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city, favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you.

A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to conceal himself from prey.

A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie - and ONLY a Windsor knot.

A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about getting.

A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't hammer a nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you can - or be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you be.

A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are riddled with fear, guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL WITH IT. Plus it's just plain fun to shoot.

Crying. There are very few reason that a Retrosexual may cry, and none of them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas. Sports teams are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of release is swearing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a Retrosexual can cry include (but are not limited to) death of a loved one, death of a pet (fish do NOT count as pets in this case), loss of a major body part.

A Retrosexual man's favorite movie isn't "Maid in Manhattan" (unless that refers to some foxy French maid sitting in a huge tub of brandy or whiskey), or "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood." Acceptable ones may include any of the Dirty Harry or Nameless Drifter movies (Clint in his better days), Rambo I or II, the Dirty Dozen, The Godfather trilogy, Scarface, The Road Warrior, The Die Hard series, Caddyshack, Rocky I, II, or III, Full Metal Jacket, any James Bond Movie, Raging Bull, Bullitt, any Bruce Lee movie, Apocalypse Now, Goodfellas, Reservoir Dogs, Fight Club, etc.etc.

When a Retrosexual is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train, and a pregnant woman, hell, any woman gets on, that Retrosexual stands up and offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other so-called men still in their seats with a disgusted "you punks" look on his face.

A Retrosexual knows how to say the Pledge properly, and with the correct emphasis and pronunciation. He also knows the words to the Star Spangled Banner.

A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not understand, but that are essential to his manliness, in that they offset the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when married/engaged in a serious healthy relationship - i.e., hunting, boxing, shot putting, shooting, cigars, car maintenance.

A Retrosexual knows how to sharpen his own knives and kitchen utensils.

A Retrosexual man can drive in snow (hell, a blizzard) without sliding all over or driving under 20 mph, without anxiety, and without high-centering his ride on a plow berm.

A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he wants.

Wherever it lands is where he damn well wanted it to land.

A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but any elderly person or person in military dress (except officers above 2nd Lt)

NOTE: The person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual man will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their country.

A Retrosexual man doesn't need a contract -- a handshake is good enough. He will always stand by his word even if circumstances change or the other person deceived him.

A Retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT.

-- Author unknown

 

Thank your son for me. That's great stuff.

 

Wow! All this time I was one, and never knew it!! Does that mean I have to "come out"??? My female colleagues have finally gotten used to me opening doors for them, helping them on and off with their coats, and stuff that I was taught was "common politeness"!! Who knew all this time I was a retro???

 

I grew up in the South (well if you consider Texas the South) and, at the age of 53, I still envision my mother reprimanding me (sometimes with a bop on the back of the head) if I don't do those polite things that gentlemen are supposed to do (e.g., open doors, help with coats, say "yes ma'am", offer your seat to a woman, etc.)

 

And I thought it was just my Mom (and Dad for that matter).

 

I'm so glad I married a retrosexual sweetheart of a man . I think it is so sad that so many men are afraid to be real men and I'm also so glad that I know where the wound scars are and . . . nobody else does (except maybe Grannyrod 'cause he let her peek) , but that's a story for another day.

 

Although I can not remember her name, I remember her message well. Back in the early 80's Johnny Carson ( I really miss him) had a guest on his Tonight Show. She was a female German Physcologist that authored a book called: "The Manipulated Man"

Her theory was that as females are the primary child rearers in society (like it or not), that females are largely responsible for programming males during their formative years of the ages from birth to about five years of age when people regardless of their gender develop their "core thoughts", about right and wrong, etc.

Her premise was, that females are largely responsible for males attitudes in how they view themselves.

Could it be that this "Girly Man" trend is due to child rearing of the 70's & 80's? when children where not dressed in pink or blue? But rather, mint green or yellow?

I think it was interesting at LG05 I made a comment to someone about the dinner party of young females that where all showing ample cleavage. I commented that I thought it was interesting that "cleavage was back in style", his response was: That a local morning DJ had been discussing that very same thing. And had dubbed "cleavage as the new "pink" .

For the generation that grew up not wearing pink, they now have a different way to express their feminity.

What do you think about this theory and the trend to show cleavage again?

 

Rdrunner, I liked that. Thanks for posting it.


Matt, I've always thought cleavage was tacky but then I've never had any to form another opinion. If a lady needs to show cleavage for attention, is that the attention she really wants? It's not the kind of attention I want.

 

That comment does not surprise me coming from you.

 

Other than the four or five comments about hunting and killing and the fact that the list seems to repeat itself more than Porky Pig, I'm aligned with most of it. I do get choked up at some movies though.