Sibling rivalry has been around a long time. I only had one child, so it wasn't an issue in my home. I had five siblings, but to be honest, I don't remember a whole lot of sibling issues.

I've run into one with my granddaughter. Not sure if I posted this before. She is now seven and often has the attitude of a seven year old. Her cousin has no local grandma, they both have maternal grandparents who live out of the country and visit over the holiday. Anyway, her cousin calls me Grandma. I told the little girl she could call me one of several things and she chose Grandma. She often copies Ally in clothing, toys, whatever. Ally is not always happy about that. I told her it's like she's the big sister, Ally is a year older.

At times Ally seems OK about sharing me with her cousin, she has even asked if we could include Megan in some outings here and there, or if Megan could just come to our house for a visit when Ally was with us. They don't always get along, so I do limit those outings. Anyway, last night we came upon a new situation. I asked Ally to go shopping with me so I could get her cousin a little something for Christmas. We did this last year. This time, she was not at all enthusiastic about the idea, and went on to say "I don't know why Megan has to call you Grandma." I tried to explain to her that she is lucky she has a Grandma she sees all the time, Megan doesn't. I told her how I never had a Grandma and my cousin's grandmother let all of us call her a grandmother, and I liked that. She still was copping an attitude.

I told her I'd call her today after school and we'd talk again. Something tells me I'll be shopping alone, as I really don't care to have a whiny child along.

So, I assume this attitude is a bit selfish, but normal. Your thoughts?

 

I think you explained the situation to her well enough, but she IS only 7 and does have a very close relationship with you. I think its normal for her to be a little bit possessive of what she considers to be HER grandma. She's had a lot of change with the new little brother coming along sharing everyone special in her life and I suspect she's just exhibiting a little bit of discomfort with that. I had 2 sisters and a brother and do not remember ever feeling any sort of animosity or rivalry with any of them, but a few years ago my sister shared with me that as children she hated me because I always got better grades in school than she did. I was shocked since I never felt any of that type of emotion for any of my siblings. Now I don't trust anybody. It ruined me.

 

Kids are involved, out of my league
Good Luck Lainey.

 

She is a gem in so many ways though, as is her brother.

 

Most of my life up until about 25 was filled with bitter wars between my sister and me. We are just not very compatible and we set each other off. When I was old enough to see that the ongoing confrontration was actually very painful to my mother I just resigned myself to keeping my opinions on subjects we do not agree on, to myself. The last some 23+ years have been way more peaceful, but a month does not go buy that I don't find myself biting my lip to keep myself from letting her have it.

 

We didn't have much of that growing up, typical fights though. One sister had a habit of borrowing stuff from an older sister without permission, of course. She never seemed to return the borrowed item in the same condition.

As adults, I'm not so sure we have had sibling rivalry, but we have had some issues along the way due to what I will call personality differences. Six kids, ALL very different.

 

^^ Very admirable and mature behavior on your part, Doug. My two kids are 14 years apart in age, so my son looks at his sister as his "little" sister and someone to be protected. My husband's son and his sister are worlds apart emotionally, etc. and although they tolerate each other's company, are not compatible at all. My husband's son is very mature, focused and very very much like his father. I absolutely adore him. The daughter is more like her mom and her personality is not as suited to mine as I'd like. I just try to keep the peace.

 

Well thanks, but like you, I'm just trying to keep the peace.

 

Probably a little combo of selfish, jealous, and being 7 years old.
Our kids compete of sorts, but they don't have issues and never argue.

 

I think it's a good thing, Lainey. Ally loves HER Grandma. She voices her opinion. She's doing pretty good for a seven year old, I say. Some adults would not be as smart about it. I imagine she'll get over it with your explantions and reassurances.