Disciplining children is a hard one. This generation of adults seems to be more comfortable with negative or positive rewards that with spanking. I can't bring myself to actually hit my children. But I have been known to take off my belt and hit the couch where they are sitting to punctuate the seriousness of my concerns. Still, my parents have thought my kids were all 'spoiled'. Somehow kids have to have the necessary experiences to learn to differentiate between a pleasure principle and a reality principle. And we parents have to be more than just friends!

 

I attended grade school in Taiwan and brutal punishments were handed out daily by the teachers (all when angry too). The most popular was the use of the chalkboard pointer made out of bamboo. The offender would have to stick his/her hand out, palm facing up while the teacher hit it as hard as he/she could. You could hear this thing as it went down (kind of a "shoosh" sound) and the area that's hit would swell up for days afterwards. This is every single day. When we had tests, the teacher would set a minimum score for the class, say 80 out of 100. Whoever got under 80 would get hit once for every point under 80. I felt really bad for those who scored in the 60s. By the time the punishment was handed out, the recipient could hardly walk because of the extreme pain. I was only hit once during my days but it was enough for me not to break any rules. I don't know if it is right or wrong, but we definitely learnt at a young age that there are strong consequences for our actions.

My father would use the other end of the feather duster when I got out of line, usually aiming at the back of my legs. It hurt like hell.

After my family moved to the US, I found out that the most severe punishment one could get was a couple of spanks by the principal with a paddle. That's nothing!

 

I forgot to add my Rule #5:

5) Lavish your children with love & attention. Frequent hugs, smiles, and laughter. Especially after punishment. In our house, a hug is an required part of the 'closing ceremonies' before we move on after a transgression.

JonasM

 

I remember being spanked once in my entire life. My mom was extremely good at threats.

That said, our 19 month old son is just learning the meaning of "time out". It works sporadically. I can definitely see spanking as a tool for him to learn, especially if that lesson protects him from doing something unsafe.

 

Ah, brings to mind the "Penguin" scene in The Blues Brothers.

Such punishment used to be more common in private schools in the US (and "public schools", much the same thing) in the UK.

(I find it hard to believe that you can beat someone into intelligence, by the way.... Discipline, yes. But good grades?)

 

Believe it or not, we were all ranked starting from the first grade. I still remember there were 53 kids in my class and when the teacher spoke, we all sat straight with our hands behind our backs against the seatback. Our book bags were hung on the right hand side of the desk, all perfectly aligned. We also had air-raid practices and got under our desks in unison. Yes, lots of discipline.

I'm not sure if all of this translated into good grades but I am certain that it made everyone study harder.

 

Many good points in this thread. Contact for safety purposes, attention, association, and the like IS necessary. Punishment should be timely, appropriate to the transgression, and above all, consistent. It should be void of anger and violence.

CalBear, our society needs more of the expectations you lived through. "Expect nothing; get nothing" is a phrase I use frequently at home and at work.