That is a very interesting observation. We drove up to Pittsburgh suburbs to pick up my son from his college yesterday for his Thanksgiving recess and we'll discuss this with him on the way home today. You've got an excellent point. I know several colleagues, whose daughters are very driven and hard working.

 

[QUOTE=silvershadow,Nov 15 2007, 01:17 AM] My own experience is that the daughters of many of our friends are driven, disciplined, hard working, intelligent, success-oriented (their definition of success - not necessarily society's definition of success).

 

I could never do this to my kid. There may have been a time when this could be accomplished but times definitely have changed, I think. While one should not spoil one's kid(s), home is a sanctuary for our children as they grow older. They should always feel welcome in their parents' home. I do believe kids should be brought up to be mentally and physically tough but if possible and feasible, parents should provide for their children's education. Even if parents cannot do this, at least they should express their unconditional love for their kids. I believe kids do understand the realities of their circumstances and would never resent their parents if they are not able to help them with their educational expenses.

Anyway, I think there may be a slight increase in aversion to manual or physical labor by our young kids living in metropolitan areas. As many mentioned, they simply find less labor intensive ways of funding their lifestyle from selling things on E-Bay to more creative ways to make money via internet.

 

Good post, Honda.....and I only disagree with your "slight" modifier in the next to last sentence

Our little 'old suburb' is a good example. It's morphed over the time that we've lived here (+30 years) from a blue collar/ working class town/ red politics....to a white collar/ professional town blue politics. There used to be kids roaming the streets....looking for jobs cutting grass/ shoveling snow/ raking leaves. Now those offers are few and far between....even though there are still lots of kids around.

I had a morning news carrier route and also cut grass for others. By the time I started college, I had saved enough ($3k) to pay for 1 year of an Ivy League education. That's not even possible....now that the top colleges cost $50k year Nevertheless, how many kids now entering college have saved a few thousand dollars towards their education? They may have earned that much....but it probably was spent on gas, MP3 players, other tech gizmos, etc.

 

Growing up, I was not allowed to work odd jobs unless they improved a future skill set or were of educational value.

No ice cream scooping or burger flipping. I studied and played. I watched TV, I enjoyed my childhood. Learned a few instruments, spoke a few languages, played a few sports.

Got an academic scholarship to professional school and now have a sizable income.

If you add up all the money that I could have "made" and invested as a kid... well, I can probably make that up in a 1/2 day at work.

I wouldn't trade my youth for that. Some things you can't get back at any cost.

I wouldn't let my kid work unless it was either fun or educational.

 

Lucky kid....or not? Best of luck....I hope that it works out for all parties.

PS: Andy Reid, coach of the Philly Eagles. has two 20 something kids who have had every privilege. One is in jail re: drugs; and the other on probation for DUI. Unfortunately, it's not unusual in our affluent Main Line township.

 

Sometimes work is educational.

One thing that some boring jobs teach you is that you really do want to be in a different line of work!

 

Until I am old and at my deathbed, I wouldn't be able to say I did a fairly decent job wth my kid as he is currently attending college. I do think work is beneficial no matter how menial or repetitive. It really doesn't matter how much money one is being paid to do the work but through that experience, young kids are able to formulate their own philosophy in life. I would hope they would develop greater appreciation for any kind of work people are engaged in and be able to walk in other people's shoes even if it is for a short time. They may become more understanding and develop empathy for those who live from paycheck to paycheck. In the end, it is not about how much money they made over the summer but they learned about life from that experience.

 

with both of you. I further think that it is important even if the work done is menial to form social connections that continue throughout life. My best friends were friends at made at jobs I had very early in life (and jobs I'd sometimes like to forget). We all moved into other jobs, but continued on as friends for more than 30 years now. I'm very happy that my daughter has found a job that "fits" for the time being. She's made sooooo many friends, some who've stayed with her present employer and some who've moved on to other companies. The same thing happened with me. She thinks of her job as a waypoint in life and will more than likely move on to other endeavors, but the experience she's gained has been invaluable.

 

We need to teach our kids responsibility. We need to teach them to be responsible for themselves, their actions and to understand the consequences of their actions. And we need to teach them respect. We need to teach them to respect themselves, those around them and everyone else regardless of their station in life.

Hard work is just hard work. There is nothing glamorous, virtuous or honorable about it. It is just hard work. Don't confuse it for what it isn't. And, it really doesn't matter who paid for what.

What matters is responsibility and respect. Without those you have very little.