I know the title might seem a little funny but im so fed up with the birds that crap all over the car that sits in the driveway im about ready to start shooting these birds with pellets. I have tried to move the car up real close to the garage door as its ALWAYS crap that lands on the SAME part of any car parked there but still no luck. This morning I went out and sure enough like every other morning BBAMM! Bird crap on the car. It's not so much that its not just crap but its like they ate some beans or something because that amount of crap is NOT normal. Todays picture was the nicest deposit ive seen in some time.

One buddy recommended I install an owl in the tree infront of the house and that might do the trick to scare em off. Other than that I want to shoot these birds down with a pellet gun to solve the problem all together but that's just against the law. PFfft. Any other suggestions? Im getting this plastic owl later today and installing it to see how well it works. Really open to any suggestions.

 

Depending on where you live you can always get one of these to park your car under.

And in your case its worth the money, cause bird crap is the worst. although they say its good luck

 

The fake owl is probably your best bet. Are there any large trees/branches around where you park? If so, try cutting them off so the birds don't fly near your car.

The tent could help, just make sure you anchor it down really well so the wind doesn't rip it down.

 

Yea the tent is a no go guys but nonetheless a gret sugesiont. I dont think the association of my complex would be too happy. I couldnt find an owl today so I think im gonna go out there this weekend with a saw and remove a few branches.

Less branches means less threat during hurricanes too.

 

Yea man associations suck ass. Thats why i said depending where you live. I think even if you put an owl the association will have a fit about that too. Cutting down so branches will have to do. Good luck.

 

SUCCESS!!! Temporarily at least. I just got home a little while ago (i know its late) but I found the culprit. It's a pigeon that sleeps there! I decided to shine my trusty Surefire flashlight to look into the tree and there it was! A lonely pigeon with its rear end aimed directly above the right right fender of the car below.

Moved my moms car out of the way and tossed a stone to spook it and it quickly flew away after trying to swoop down and spook me with little success. I was ready to break it in half if it got any closer. I will keep on it every night so that it gets the hint to not sleep there anymore. If not I know which branch it likes and I will make sure to cut it down if anything. I am very satisfied right now. haha GREAT SUCCESS!

 

wrap the tree branches in barb wire =D
or even better Blood Sport style...pour sap across the branch and sprinkle broken glass all over it

 

Are you seriously trying to evict the poor bird. Maybe he lost his job or his wife kicked him out of the house. You never know bro. Don't kick him out, try getting him a job and moving him to an oak tree, that where all the hot bitches are at!

 

Why should a help a bird get the bird bitches if he's shitting on my car every morning?!

BARBED WIRE IT IS!!!

 

feed it some alka-seltzers.