John Leguizamo?

 

Kathy Griffin?

 

My Sister..........is cover with moles and she goes to church like every night.. so we call her Holy Molly..

Get r done............................

 

You know you're a redneck if.... You work with your shirt off... and so does your husband!

 

If youuuu walk your son to school... because you're in the saaame graaaade....

...you might be a Redneck.

 

We were doing a show in Buffalo, New York. And we land at the airport, and we go down to get our luggage, and mine didn't show up, which I know happens. So we go down to the lost luggage, where everyone is in *such a good mood!* Who applies for that job? Who says, I want to work in lost luggage? You don't have a good day! It's like a job emptying porta-potties, you're just gonna catch crap all day.

So, anyway. I'm trying to be nice to this woman in lost luggage, and I say, "Excuse me!" And she goes, "Can I help you?" I said, "Yes ma'am. You lost my luggage." She looks me right in the eye, and goes, "Has your plane landed yet?"

I said, "No princess! I'm having an out-of-body experience! I'm just checking on them!" Here's your sign!

 

Some names not suggested (not sure if they still do shows) Seinfeld, Ben Stiller, Howey Mandell, billy crystall, adam sandler...

Edit, Eddie Murphey... (damn I must be getting old)

 

Hey, what about DL Hughley, or Cedric the Entertainer?