ewwww... as if he didn't have enough on his mind already

 

LOL

simon, you got issues man....

i'm the first guy to look at a hot chick...i even do it front of my wife (why hide it?)...but she knows that's where it'll stop.

 

Adam, I feel sorry for you for getting cought in the middle like that. The least your buddy could have done was to be up front with you from the beginning.

Don't feel like you have a moral obligation to fix every body's personal problems. Like Mike said, chances are you'll end up looking like a bad guy to both sides. The best you can do is offer your views and advice and say what you feel. Then let the 2 (or 3) parties make their own decision. If you're disgusted by what's been done to you don't feel bad about saying sorry, but I can't be your friend if this is who you are, get your stuff out of my house. Ofcourse that will depend on just how buddy buddy you are with this guy. Every friendship goes through ruff patches.

I think it's fair to say that *almost* every body cheats at one point or another in their life. It happens for different reasons and majority of the time it just means that some one wasn't happy enough and an opportunity to feel happy again came knocking. I don't think it's fair to automatically condemn and pretend it's all a black and white situation, because it never is. I don't think it's also fair to say once a cheater always a cheater. Maybe that's true in the case of some one who repeatedly puts themselves in relationships they shouldn't be in to begin with.

Without knowing the details of what's happening in this particular situation, don't automatically assume that trying to keep that couple together is necessarily the best option. Obviously the cheating happened for a reason, and perhaps in the long run they're both better off appart. Too bad there are kids involved, but they shouldn't stay together if that's the only reason keeping them from seperating. It's not good for the kids to be in that sort of an unstable environment. Don't underestimate kids, they're not stupid, they'll know instinctively when things aren't right with mommy and daddy, and you don't want them growing up having that as an example of what an adult relationship is.

 

I'm really impressed with all the insightful comments on here!

I happen to agree with this that most people cheat at some point or another. I'm glad I got it out of my system during my silly highschool whore days, when relationships were twice as dramatic and a lot less meaningful.

I definitely think there's a lack of a maturity in individuals who still do this, and while I don't really condone it, it's not my business what people do in their personal lives. I have some close friends with long-term girlfriends who are great girls, and the guys just run around behind their backs any time some slut shows up for a night.

These guys are still my friends, but that's because this integrity-lacking behaviour doesn't spill over into the relationship I have with all of them. I have had no reason to distrust them myself as they have always been great friends, but if I were a chick there is aboslutely NO chance I would want anything to do with them.

 

The real issue is that he is staying at my relative's home while the relative is away on a extended vacation and i've put a stipulation on him that he can't bring the woman to that house out of respect to his kids/wife, and my family. He has brought the woman to my relative's house behind my back and caused the family extra heartache by taking his needs before that of his kids (it is close to his family home).

My generosity towards him has been met with many slaps to my face and additional lies.

The worst part about it is that he was a really good friend and I thought a very solid guy.

 

so basically he cheated on you too... that sucks

 

Uh-oh! Interior decorating by SCHMEGGLY!

 

Yeah it does sound like that...
If he's deceiving everybody, even the people who are looking out for him, then it doesn't sound like he deserves your concern really.

If he is the good solid guy you thought, he'll probably realize how dumb he was after the fact, when it's alright too late and you've distanced yourself from him

 

Why cant he just stay in a hotel if he wants to keep banging her?

You've been overly accomodating Adam. Kick him and his now seemingly not so concerned about the wife mistress to the curb.

 

If you need help doing so just ask