Ford Jokes
10-11-2008, 05:53 AM
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Ford Jokes
A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept walking. Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in the car with me and I'll give you two lolly pops." She kept her eyes on the sidewalk and continued on her way. The man said "Get in with me and I'll give you this whole bag of lollypops!" Finally, the girl turned and said "Look daddy, YOU bought the Ford, YOU ride in it!!!"
Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust.
If it wasn't for Fords,
our tools would rust.
Buy a Ford and you buy the best. Drive the first mile and walk the rest.
Tom: My parents just bought me a Ford Mustang.
Jim: So what did you do to them to tick them off?
Do you know that Ford has admitted they are expensive and unreliable? That new commercial they are running says so! When that country singer says "If I had me some money" he admits he can't afford one, and when he adds that he'd "buy a Ford truck or two" it because he needs a spare.
Next time some Fordnatic claims Ford means "First on race day" remind them that anything could be fast if a team of mechanics worked on it all week so it would last long enough to run a race before needing another weeks work.
WHY ARE THE NEW FORD TRUCKS MORE AERODYNAMIC?
So they will save the Chevy gas when the Chevy tows them away.
WHAT SHOULD THE FORD MUSTANG REALLY BE CALLED?
The Ford Rustang
WHY IS THIS COUNTRY SO FAR IN DEBT?
Because the President drives a Ford
WHAT DID THE CHEVY SAY TO THE FORD?
Would you like a tow home?
WHAT SHOULD A FORD THUNDERBIRD REALLY BE CALLED?
A ford thunderturd
SPEED KILLS
DRIVE A FORD
LIVE FOR EVER
I'd rather push a Chevy than drive a Ford!
HOW DO YOU DOUBLE THE VALUE OF A PINTO?
Fill it with gas!
Ford Escort Me To A Chevrolet Dealer.
Have you outdriven a Ford lately?
WHAT SHOULD A FORD TAURUS REALLY BE CALLED?
A Ford Tortious
From the past 10 years about 90% of Ford trucks are still on the road, the other 10% made it home.
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
To push his F-150 back into the shop
WHY DIDN'T THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
His F-150 got stuck
The people who say they would rather push a Ford than drive a Chevy usually do.
A Texan was talking big in a bar one night about how much money he had,how many women he had been with and how much land he owned. A young man, growing tired of all the big talk finally asked the Texan, "Just how much land do you actually own"? The Texan tipped back his cowboy hat and said to the young man " Well sonny let me put it to ya like this, I can get in my pickup at sunrise, drive all day long,skip lunch and still not get to the other side of my property by sundown". The young man shot back quickly, " Oh yeah, I know what you mean, I used to own a Ford truck too"!
HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW SPEED LIMIT SIGNS?
MAXIMUM SPEED LIMIT ------65 MILES PER HR. FORDS DO THE BEST YOU CAN
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A FORD AND A SHOPPING CART?
A shopping cart sure is a lot easier to push
That's not a leak, my Ford's just marking its territory!
I was driving my Ford truck down the road,
When I realized it was gonna explode.
The Ford motor blew up in my face,
So I put a Chevy motor in it's place.
I drove that truck 'till the body panels rusted away,
But that old Chevy motor still runs to this day!
Ford...At least they circled the problem.
Here I sit broken hearted
Wishing that my Ford would have started
But it didn't so that's a wrap
So I think I'll shoot that piece of crap
Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust.
If it wasn't for Fords,
our tools would rust.
Buy a Ford and you buy the best. Drive the first mile and walk the rest.
Tom: My parents just bought me a Ford Mustang.
Jim: So what did you do to them to tick them off?
Do you know that Ford has admitted they are expensive and unreliable? That new commercial they are running says so! When that country singer says "If I had me some money" he admits he can't afford one, and when he adds that he'd "buy a Ford truck or two" it because he needs a spare.
Next time some Fordnatic claims Ford means "First on race day" remind them that anything could be fast if a team of mechanics worked on it all week so it would last long enough to run a race before needing another weeks work.
WHY ARE THE NEW FORD TRUCKS MORE AERODYNAMIC?
So they will save the Chevy gas when the Chevy tows them away.
WHAT SHOULD THE FORD MUSTANG REALLY BE CALLED?
The Ford Rustang
WHY IS THIS COUNTRY SO FAR IN DEBT?
Because the President drives a Ford
WHAT DID THE CHEVY SAY TO THE FORD?
Would you like a tow home?
WHAT SHOULD A FORD THUNDERBIRD REALLY BE CALLED?
A ford thunderturd
SPEED KILLS
DRIVE A FORD
LIVE FOR EVER
I'd rather push a Chevy than drive a Ford!
HOW DO YOU DOUBLE THE VALUE OF A PINTO?
Fill it with gas!
Ford Escort Me To A Chevrolet Dealer.
Have you outdriven a Ford lately?
WHAT SHOULD A FORD TAURUS REALLY BE CALLED?
A Ford Tortious
From the past 10 years about 90% of Ford trucks are still on the road, the other 10% made it home.
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
To push his F-150 back into the shop
WHY DIDN'T THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
His F-150 got stuck
The people who say they would rather push a Ford than drive a Chevy usually do.
A Texan was talking big in a bar one night about how much money he had,how many women he had been with and how much land he owned. A young man, growing tired of all the big talk finally asked the Texan, "Just how much land do you actually own"? The Texan tipped back his cowboy hat and said to the young man " Well sonny let me put it to ya like this, I can get in my pickup at sunrise, drive all day long,skip lunch and still not get to the other side of my property by sundown". The young man shot back quickly, " Oh yeah, I know what you mean, I used to own a Ford truck too"!
HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW SPEED LIMIT SIGNS?
MAXIMUM SPEED LIMIT ------65 MILES PER HR. FORDS DO THE BEST YOU CAN
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A FORD AND A SHOPPING CART?
A shopping cart sure is a lot easier to push
That's not a leak, my Ford's just marking its territory!
I was driving my Ford truck down the road,
When I realized it was gonna explode.
The Ford motor blew up in my face,
So I put a Chevy motor in it's place.
I drove that truck 'till the body panels rusted away,
But that old Chevy motor still runs to this day!
Ford...At least they circled the problem.
Here I sit broken hearted
Wishing that my Ford would have started
But it didn't so that's a wrap
So I think I'll shoot that piece of crap
