I have a friend who i do a lot of work for , known him 30 years .
Problem ,
he is a crap driver , no seriously , i mean dangerous here, cant read the road or traffic, doesnt see beyond the bonnet and harrases people to get out of the way on the motorway.

I am starting a project in deepest Cornwall and he insists on driving , done it for 2 weeks now and decided no more. 500+ miles in a day
Last week we came back at 120 in the rain and dense mist with him on the phone and tailgating everything in site . 3 times he had to call on ABS assistance , and surprisingly , everyone else on the road was C**t

I dont mind dying if its my fault , but i will well pissed off if its somebody elses .

SO , i need to approach this in a sensitive manner , firstly telling him i will be driving from now on , but i also want to suggest he gets someone to help him and comment on his driving and be able to suggest some options , before he kills himself or an innocent party

Has anyone got any ideas on where or who i might suggest , you can imagine the potential for an argument criticising somebody elses driving so i want to be able to positive advice .

 

I have a mate like that,. Whilst he's not probably as bad as your friend, he's a terrible driver. Matters came to a head one day when I just told him he couldn't drive me any more.... and I'm not a nervous passenger! He's actually a great guy but he kind of lives on his nerves and everything he does is sort of hurried and frenetic without any game plan. That just about sums up his driving. He didn't take it at all well, and I don't suppose your mate will either. He sulked for a while, then over a couple of pints one night he asked me to say what was wrong with his driving. He listened growing increasingly arsey, as he really doesn't think there's anything wrong with his driving at all. We ended up having a bit of a spat because he thought I was being overly critical.

Happily our friendship survived a rocky period for a while and we now have an unwritten, unspoken arrangement where it's taken for granted I'll drive if we go anywhere.

Good luck anyway, but the first hurdle you have to overcome is getting this guy to accept his driving needs help. I think you're right in taking a stance if he's as bad as you say. It's not funny sitting in the passenger seat with you heart in your mouth all the while.

 

Just tell him straight out.

Tell him you love life, and if he wants to kill himself thats fine, but not with you in the car.

 

I've got a mate like that too, he's a nightmare and I tell him so. He knows it too, so that isnt an issue, however he's calmed down a LOT since he 360'd on the M8 last winter with his 18month old daughter in the back. Luckily they were both fine, and no other cars involved, but he saw the effect his driving could have that day.

 

I suspect brutal honesty is your only option. Dancing round the handbag on this one isn't going to get you far. If he's really that bad I would have thought your life is worth more to you than his happiness.

 

Thats what i was thinking .
Honestly , he really is as dangerous as i say. I thought we were going to die 3 times on that one trip.

500+ miles in a day is a tall order anyway , especially coupled with a days work and meetings.

There is already a list of people who wont drive with him, another guy done the identical trip in his own car last week

I just know that one day he is going to come up against somebody who doesnt respond well to his serious tailgating at 100+

Any one know of a driver appraisal course i can suggest to him.?

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by hazdjc
Just tell him straight out.

 

I always suggest them but they really are excellent - Ride Drive do good training, they may, for a small fee do an assessment, call and ask.

However as Tonky says your first hurdle is to convince him he needs to change the way he drives. People are always sensitive about their driving and I don't think there is any good way to approach it, you could try constantly pointing out where he's going wrong, or you could scream loudly every time he scares you. But I would think that honesty is the best policy and just telling him, all in one go and getting it out would be best. He probably won't take it very well, but what price your peace of mind?

 

There's always the Institute of Advanced Motorists who I think will also do a driver assessment, although may require a joining fee. The bad news would be better coming from a 'professional'...

http://www.iam.org.uk

 

I suppose if you could maneouvre him into some sort of advanced driver training like IAM or ROSPA (even if he doesn't actually take the test he ought to learn a lot).

But then it sounds as if he thinks he is an "expert" already - I think these advanced courses would work well for someone who is just unaware or who lacks understanding of roadcraft, but for someone who is pigheaded I doubt they would be effective.

It sounds like the best thing that could happen would be if he was pulled by the plod for careless or dangerous driving and faced a ban and/or a retest - then he might reflect on what he was doing.

Sadly, as we all know, the lack of traffic cops on the roads these days makes this unlikely -( unless you are brave enough to anonymously report him )