Evening all!

Just coming back along Jersey's only dual carriageway (speed limit 40mph - oh joy) when I spotted a Clio Williams and Renault 5 Turbo in the inner lane. They were both nicely chaved up, complete with neons, huge alloys, exhausts the size of the Channel Tunnel.

I trundled past them at 44mph (honestly!) and they obviously took huge offence at the blatant slur against the size of penises - well, I'm guessing here! The R5 decided he'd tailgate me and sniffed around behind me at a range of ...oooh...5cm from my pipes - cheers mate!

Being older and wiser, I though "nuts to this" and pulled into the inner lane. Sure enough both cars booted it past me at about 50mph+ - gosh what a victory. However, they didn't notice the three lane red traffic lights up ahead unlike old, wise me!

So from left to right was me, the Clio and the R5. They both sat there, rocking on their slammed suspension, making enough noise to wake the dead. Unfortunately for them, older, wiser me knows that the left hand lane (my one) allows you to see the colour of the traffic lights crossing our path, thus allowing me to get a good start.

So, as I see the other lights turn red, I feed in about 5000 revs and wait the second until our lights went green. I've mentioned how shagged my rear tyres are in another post and lets just say that I'm sure I left some lovely blackies as the rear stepped to the left under power, blasting me and the car up to the limit in a very short space of time.

They were left for dead - both of them. So, for ten points, can anyone tell me the correct chav response in this situation? Yep, turn to your ugly, burberry shell-suited missus, swear hugely, nail the throttle and scream past the obviously faster and better car at over twice the speed limit. Well done you little twats!

Sorry for a silly post but God I love this car - whether it's nailing Porsches on the Ring or obliterating nobby chavs in Clios, this beastie is effing brilliant!

Ben

 

Good work

Ash

 

glad to see you showed them the right way to drive.

 

 

And know doubt the driver of the chaved up mk11 golf that I toy'd with for 10 mins this afternoon does to

 

great piece of work!

 

Let the chav scum know where they sit in the global pecking order.

(Hint : just below lawyers and above estate agents)

 

I thought chavs were illegal in Jersey, or am I getting confused with IOM?

 

I wish!

Anyone wanting to make their first million, open a branch of Hellfords or similar over here - its practically a license to print money!

Combine zero unemployment with overinflated wages and little else to do and VOILA - lots of tossers in overly souped up motors!

 

chav racing is run!... there have been plenty of times where i have run them off red lights. they stand no chance... by the time we are up to the speed limit, and are cruising they have just got up to 10mph....
beating chavs off the line is safe and fun, just dont go above the speed limit