Dietrich was driving!!!

 For those of you who may have been on a deserted island visiting the cast of Lost this past few weeks and therefore haven’t seen/heard the news, you may not understand the significance of those words. The rest of us know those words to be the second lamest excuse for a serious auto accident ever extolled. (I’ll tell ya the lamest excuse later…)

Even if you think you know it all… you’ll find something new in S2ki’s definitive Enzo crash primer. Next season it’ll probably be coming to a theater near you, so get the whole story here first. (Use the following information freely to impress your friends.)

Stefan Eriksson claims he was a passenger Tuesday February 21 at 6:08 AM when his million-dollar Ferrari Enzo crashed into a telephone pole at over 160MPH and that a man he’d just met named “Dietrich” was driving. Why would anyone let a man he’d just met, drive his million dollar car on a public roadway at over 160 MPH? Perhaps the fact that Stefan blew nearly .1% on the blood alcohol meter might explain his poor judgment. (The legal limit for a driver in California is .08%, but there’s no limit for a passenger.) When questioned at the scene, Eriksson claimed that “Dietrich” had run away immediately following the accident, leaving Stefan holding the airbag so to speak. Speaking of airbags… while both sides deployed, only the driver’s side had traces of blood. Oddly, Stefan, who claimed to be the passenger, was bleeding from the nose. Before the police could question him further, two plain-clothes officers who identified themselves as “Homeland Security” whisked Eriksson away.

Question number one… Who was really driving???

Dietrich has never been found. In fact, there is absolutely no proof of Dietrich’s  existence, other than the fact that The person who ran Eriksson’s company’s (Gizmondo) German operation was named Dietrich, and they had been seen together a few weeks prior in Beverly Hills.

There was speculation that the driver of the Mercedes SLR which was supposedly racing Mr. Eriksson may have been former European managing director of Gizmondo, Carl Freer, who is known to own a Mercedes SLR and is a good friend of Eriksson. Since it is now apparent that there was no SLR present at the time of the crash, this was just a rumor.

Question two… Homeland Security?

At the scene, Eriksson told the police that as a deputy commissioner for the San Gabriel Valley Transit Authority’s police anti-terrorism unit, he was a government official involved in counter-terrorism.

The San Gabriel Transit Authority is a very small operation run out of an auto repair shop that shuttles local elderly and disabled citizens. There is much speculation as to the deeper meaning of all this, but none of it makes much sense.

Question three… Who’s car was it… really?

A police investigation turned up the interesting tidbit of info that the car was the property of the Bank of Scotland and was in the process of being repossessed at the time of the crash. Rumor has it that the Ferrari as well as a Mercedes SLR (maybe the phantom car from the accident???) were purchased with a fraudulent loan obtained by Gizmondo’s British operation. Eriksson had apparently shipped the car to the United States to avoid
repossession.

Question four… The loaded gun clip?

A loaded gun clip found near the accident scene may be linked to Mr. Eriksson according to police. They also believe there was another passenger in the car when the crash occurred. They called Mr. Eriksson in for another interview. He agreed at first, but then declined. He did submit a sample of his blood for DNA testing. As far as the loaded gun clip… Witnesses have stated that there was a man talking with Eriksson right after the crash. Eriksson told police that this man, who the police are calling “Trevor”, was a passenger in the Mercedes SLR. (The SLR we now know wasn’t actually there) Eriksson said that the driver of the SLR dropped “Trevor” off and drove away.

Apparently, “Trevor” had approached a motorist who stopped after the crash to ask if he could use their cell phone. “Trevor” made a call while sitting in the motorist’s car, and after he exited the vehicle, the Good Samaritan discovered the loaded clip stuffed in the crevice of their car seat. The home address, “Trevor” gave the police ended up being a $14 million yacht in Marina Del Rey.

Question five… What’s next?

As far as police can determine so far, Eriksson was driving and Trevor was the passenger. There have been reports that Trevor was videotaping their high-speed adventure but neither Trevor nor any video equipment has been recovered. Police are now waiting on the DNA results from the two blood samples before proceeding with charges against Eriksson