So as many of you know, I moved to California a little over 2 years ago. My wife and I wanted a change, and were sick of the heat, and the lack of things to do. In the few years here I have enjoyed California, but I feel empty out here. I have family out here, but I rarely see them, and they're not my parents so it's not the same. My wife and I bring in about $170k/year so the money is not the problem, but we still feel how expensive things are out here, especially right now that we are starting to look at possibly purchasing a home. So here is my question.... I was born in CA, and moved when I was 12, lived in Arizona for 14 years, and been here in CA for 2 years now. Like stated before, I feel empty and deep down inside I am not 100% happy. Here's a list of the pros and cons:

Pros:

I love the weather, I REALLLY love it!
I love the culture out here
Love the car scene
Love being close to Vegas
Have the beach close by
Love the casinos by my house

Cons:

Expensive as hell
We are looking at a $3k a month mortgage
Hate traffic
Not very happy at my job
Hate being away from my family (parents and brothers/sisters)
Can't afford to go to school out here due to work schedule
Expensive gas
I feel like living here has given me anxiety which I have had for 7 months out of the 2 years here
No open carry


My wife and I are looking to possibly go back so we can buy a house for cheap, I can go back to school and get my degree (her as well), possibly start a family. A few days ago I felt like I knew the for sure answer, which was move back to AZ, but now I am starting to question it. We can afford to live here, but that means staying at the same job for possible forever, and we don't want to have kids here (which I am fine either way). I am honestly confused for what I want, since CA really is the place to be, but at the same time I can see myself willing to go back to AZ and get our degrees, have a nice house, and possible start a family, have a lot of money to save, and possible come back to CA and land jobs we really want. Anyone make the move from CA to AZ in their adult life? I would love to hear your advice.

John

 

I have lived by the philosophy that you can have three things regarding your life's work (not necessarily in order):

1) The location of the work,
2) The salary of the work.
3) The personal satisfaction you gain from the work,

Very rarely are you able to get three out of three and you're doing well if you get two out of three.

Only you can judge each of these factors, but looking at your post it appears to me that you are satisfying between 1.5 to 2.0 of these factors in California. Moving back to Arizona it looks like you'll be more like 1.75 to 2.25. I know this is much more than a numbers game, but from what I can see, the numbers at least lean towards Arizona.

Besides i see nothing in your post about tsunamis, earthquakes, mudslides, or forest fires. which of course greatly tips the scales in the favor of AZ and NOT CAL.

 

I made this move CA->AZ 5 years ago. Both my wife and I are management-level professionals in our respective fields. At the peak of the real estate market there, even with well-paying dual income we couldn't afford anything more than a small condo, so we made the move.

Aside from the cheaper housing, I find it difficult to stay in Phoenix metro for much longer (this great S2K group is the best group, compared to other car clubs I've been in). The three things I miss most about SoCal:

1) Culture, Entertainment and Food - Saturday mornings we could decide, hey, lets take a day trip to LA or SD, and it was possible. Out here I feel we have to plan more, and finding stuff to do or good food is more difficult. Every intersection looks the same, and I swear this place must be the highest density of Walgreens on the planet. I might have a much larger house here in AZ, but in SoCal there was never a shortage of stuff to do.

2) Traffic, but more important the quality of driver - People say CA is a rough place to drive, and it is. The first time I got behind the wheel my instructor directed me to the freeway onramp. I learned quickly what respecting the flow of traffic means. That just doesn't exist out here. Grandma driving 40mph in the #1 lane, snowbirds driving the wrong way on the road (almost got hit last year), shit flying off construction trucks and messing up the front of your S2K (yeah dealing with that too this week). I would take an hour and a half commute each way in SoCal traffic over a 30 minute drive in Phoenix metro. People just drive there with what pilots refer to as situational awareness.

3) Air quality - It seems the valley air here has gotten progressively worse in the last few years. To the point that it's affecting our health. Never had that in SoCal, with that wonderful marine layer pulling in offshore every evening. Wearing a sweatshirt on the 4th of July watching fireworks? Normal.

I see that you live in D-bar, are you commuting either to DTLA or Irvine/OC? The 57 is one of the worst freeways in all of SoCal, with maybe the exception of the 10 from the west side to DTLA.

For my wife and I, we aren't planning on having kids yet, but later on, maybe 5 years down the road. Out here it's more difficult to find other couples of the same mentality, and we definitely feel out of place in our age group.

I'm contemplating either a move back to OC, or a move to Metro NYC (two locales where the job market is strong in both of our fields).

 

What line of work are you two in? Would you be transfering with your company or finding new?

I moved from Iowa to Here and my g/f from Chino Hills CA to here a little over a year ago. I have many things to say but overal, if you are a car guy, this is a pretty darn good state to live but obviously work/life mix can be very important. My g/f wants to move back to Cali for a few reasons, mainly b/c her family is there and she has more good friends there. She works from home so she really hasn't done due justice to reaching out and making friends which doesn't make the situation any better.

I believe there is lots to do in AZ. I'll post more information tonight.

 

Thanks for all the awesome input guys. Here is more info

I am 28 and my wife is 37 (cougar) lol! Well here is the deal, I am 28 and for me it's either go to school now, or I will probably never go again. Since my wife is 37 her baby clock is reaching it's end, so it's now or never for a family. Do I want kids? No, and yes, with No being about 55%. The 45% of yes comes from having the experience, and having something to look forward to when I get older. I am super paranoid about things, and like I said I have OCD and anxiety so that's why the yes stay at 45% and not higher.

As for work:

I am an underwriter for good ole Bank of America, and my wife is a VP for the same company. Our site is VERY corporate, and that is mostly why I am un happy here. It's half a step away from a sweat shop. In Arizona I did the same work, and it was super laid back. My wife and I make more than enough to buy a nice house out here, so that's not the problem. I see the problem as I am away from my family and friends that I go back with, and of course the s2k crew which is the best out there. I seriously cannot see myself working in this line of work for another 10 years, and my only way out is to get a degree to get into something else. My wife and I can easily transfer back out there as early as February with the same pay and all.

I took a nice long drive thru some hills in Fullerton, and rowland heights last night... I love how there are things everywhere, and so much culture out here, and that is one thing I know would be gone if I move back to AZ.


Also I know I saw someone ask this. I live in Diamond Bar and commute to Brea so it's only 6 miles of driving on the infamous 57 freeway.

 

one word: TEXAS

 

To make your move easier, here are things I don't miss about living in California first:

1. Traffic. Because of the businesses that we owned, I used to have to drive the 15/10/215/60/57/210/22/55/5 and the worst of all, the 91.

2. Home prices.

3. Property taxes.

4. Gas prices.

5. Air quality.

6. Human interaction quality.

7. Oh yeah, did I mention Traffic?

8. Road quality.

Things I miss?

1. Weather.

2. My awesome mountain road (Highway 330 Running Springs, google it)

3. Freeway speeds when there is no traffic.

These are just a few of the things I can think of off the top of my head.

 

It's obvious that this is a difficult decision for you. I believe everyone else has offered you the geographic advantages and disadvantages. I'm older than you and have lived in several cities (east coast and west coast). Let me offer advise to you that I was given a long time ago......find work where you want to live or live where you have to work. At different times of your life you will do one or the other depending on your personal and professional goals. Decide which goals are more important you and your wife....personal or professional at this point of your lives. Ultimately, at the end we all work to support the kinds of lives we want to live. Find out what's most important to you in the next 5 years versus the goals you want to attain at retirement. So if owning your home and family are crucial to your happiness, determine whether CA or AZ offers great opportunity towards that objective. If professional endeavors are more important at this point in your life, then determine whether CA or AZ offer greater work opportunities to accomplish your professional goals. In the end, CA or AZ don't have to be your final destinations. If you decide to have a family or pursue other lines or work, you may decide that neither place offers the kind of opportunities that are important to you. You and your wife seem like an enterprising couple so I'm sure you will seize the opportunities that come your way with work. As you get older, you will put more emphasis on where you want to live (which is the point you've reached now). I've lived in the Bay Area, NY City, central Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Arizona. I enjoyed living in those locations for different reasons all of which were important as I built my family and career. Fundamentally, what I've learned is the no job or place makes you ultimately happy in life. It comes down to the relationships you've build with family and friends that matter the most. Jobs, homes, material belongings all come and go. In then end you want to be happy with the relationships and choices you've made in life. You are on the right path by looking at the pros and cons, but take a step back and think "big picture" and prioritize your short-term versus long-term goals. I think if you do that, you will come to a good decision that will make you happy and provide you a path towards your long-term goals. Hope that helps.....good luck!

 

Come back Jon i miss you. Ill sell you my house!

 

CA just VOTED IN a 25% state sales tax increase to 12.5%??

Also realize that CA has over 50% population that works in the public/government/state sector which means BS laws are always going to get implemented like a 12.5% sales tax.