Perhaps this quote explains the source some of your wilder theories?

 

Quote:
"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow"
-Mark Twain

 

I prefer:

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid doing altogether!"

 

Quote- Knowledge comes from knowing that you know nothing.

Fact- speed kills but you get there quicker.


Thats all i got, i'm spent!!!

 

Quote:
"I do not object to people looking at their watches when I am speaking. But I do strongly object when they start shaking them to make certain they are still going."
- William Norman Birkett

Fact:
Humans' brains are 85 percent water, while their teeth are 10 percent water.

 

 

Quote:
"The harder I work the luckier I get."

 

 

"If something is hard to do then it's not worth doing." - Homer Simpson

 

I may as well get all of the Dilbert quotes out of the way in one big hit

# I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
# I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
# Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
# Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
# Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing him again.
# I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
# Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
# My reality check bounced.
# On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
# I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
# You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
# Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
# Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
# Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
# A pat on the back is only a few centimetres from a kick in the butt.
# Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
# After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
# The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
# You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
# Eat one live toad first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
# When bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
# If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
# There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.
# Everything can be filed under 'miscellaneous'.
# Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
# To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.
# Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing.
# Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
# If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
# You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.
# People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
# If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
# At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.
# When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
# Following the rules will not get the job done. Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
# When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
# The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

But feel free to drag out Homer's classics one post at a time if you so wish