This morning instead of pigging out and chugging coffee like I usually do when F1 is on, it occurred to me that I could get on the cardio machine at the gym and watch qualifying at the same time. With eight TV sets in a small gym, most are muted with closed captioning. I know the transcriptionists have a hard time keeping up with live programming and I try to allow for that, but I about fell off the machine laughing at the goofups by somebody who obviously does not follow F1 trying to spell non-Anglo-Saxon names phonetically.

I cannot make this stuff up ...

Nelsinho became NELSON PEE PEE (okay, they corrected it to PIQUET)

Kimi became RYE KO-DAN (somebody's seen The Last Starfighter a few too many times) driving a HER HAIRY (pretty close to Ferrari, I suppose)

and Jarno became of course TRULY (scrumptious?)

I wish I could remember more, but somebody please turn on CC in the morning and write down some more.