BMW Drivers
Thread Starter
Registered User
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,383
Likes: 0
From: Liverpool
BMW Drivers
How many of us can relate to this? 
The other day I was cruising along as usual in my BMW coming to one of my motorways which was very busy with inferior cars.
First, I could not believe that the volume of traffic didn't slow down for me at all as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a small gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway. (The driver of the car behind did realise his mistake though and gave me a long blast of his horn to apologise).
Unbelievably I had to do the same again before I could get into the BMW lane. Anyway once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me I noticed an inferior car not only in front of me in the BMW lane but driving at a ridiculous 70mph.
Naturally I got a foot or so off his rear bumper and flashed my head lights to remind him that he was in the BMW lane and to get out of my way. Of course once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me. He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would outrun him he put on some blue lights that were hidden in his grille and urged me to pull onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.
Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we stopped the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast!
Apparently he wants every one to know what a superior car I have, so I have had to take my licence to a police station to have some points put on it (they are not free either, they are £20 each). I was only allowed 3, but the man at the police station said that because I drive a BMW it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won’t even need a driving licence, so it would be taken off me!
See, now that's the sort of respect you get when you drive a BMW.
The other day I was cruising along as usual in my BMW coming to one of my motorways which was very busy with inferior cars.
First, I could not believe that the volume of traffic didn't slow down for me at all as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a small gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway. (The driver of the car behind did realise his mistake though and gave me a long blast of his horn to apologise).
Unbelievably I had to do the same again before I could get into the BMW lane. Anyway once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me I noticed an inferior car not only in front of me in the BMW lane but driving at a ridiculous 70mph.
Naturally I got a foot or so off his rear bumper and flashed my head lights to remind him that he was in the BMW lane and to get out of my way. Of course once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me. He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would outrun him he put on some blue lights that were hidden in his grille and urged me to pull onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.
Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we stopped the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast!
Apparently he wants every one to know what a superior car I have, so I have had to take my licence to a police station to have some points put on it (they are not free either, they are £20 each). I was only allowed 3, but the man at the police station said that because I drive a BMW it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won’t even need a driving licence, so it would be taken off me!
See, now that's the sort of respect you get when you drive a BMW.
Registered User
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,773
Likes: 0
From: Glasgow
This is becoming more of a BMW owners forum these days than an S2000 one so you won't get much joy with this post. That and the fact that it's a 10 year old joke 
Saying that, when I got my Z4C I had to take it back to have the indicators "fixed" as they were working correctly
Saying that, when I got my Z4C I had to take it back to have the indicators "fixed" as they were working correctly
Trending Topics
Registered User
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 1,999
Likes: 0
From: Nottinghamshire
This is the actual version before someone altered it.
"The other day I was cruising along as usual in my shit tip coming to one of my motorways which was very busy with cars better than my own.
First, I could not believe that my useless pile of shit struggled to get up to motorway speed as I came off the slip road! I had to
squeeze into a small gap between two articulated lorries in order to get onto my motorway. (The lorry driver felt pity and let me in).
Unbelievably I could not pass into the middle or fast lanes as both had decent cars in them and I felt inferior.
I couldnt help noticing the quality german cars drivers and how confortable their drivers looked whilst not having to spend the earth and I couldnt help
but feel envious and slightly resentful that I hadnt worked harder and wasnt a bit clevererer!
Naturally I tried to shit the toffs up by pulling out on them and chucking fag butts out me window and this caused one man to unbeleivably flash me
Of course as soon as I saw that it gave me licence to swirv in front of him and brake test the ****s. One BMW driver gave me the finger as a fag butt
landed on his windscreen so I followed him home and twatted the faggot.
But then all was well as on the way home I saw another Honda driver and we waved at each other like proper gaylords.
I ####in love my S2000!! "
"The other day I was cruising along as usual in my shit tip coming to one of my motorways which was very busy with cars better than my own.
First, I could not believe that my useless pile of shit struggled to get up to motorway speed as I came off the slip road! I had to
squeeze into a small gap between two articulated lorries in order to get onto my motorway. (The lorry driver felt pity and let me in).
Unbelievably I could not pass into the middle or fast lanes as both had decent cars in them and I felt inferior.
I couldnt help noticing the quality german cars drivers and how confortable their drivers looked whilst not having to spend the earth and I couldnt help
but feel envious and slightly resentful that I hadnt worked harder and wasnt a bit clevererer!
Naturally I tried to shit the toffs up by pulling out on them and chucking fag butts out me window and this caused one man to unbeleivably flash me
Of course as soon as I saw that it gave me licence to swirv in front of him and brake test the ****s. One BMW driver gave me the finger as a fag butt
landed on his windscreen so I followed him home and twatted the faggot.
But then all was well as on the way home I saw another Honda driver and we waved at each other like proper gaylords.
I ####in love my S2000!! "
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,028
Likes: 1
From: Salisbury - old people's home
Originally Posted by TRW,Feb 5 2010, 07:40 AM
Spot on Mr Sound wave. Checking car owners meet their stereotype is one of my favourite games on long journeys.
Whats the S2000 owner stereotype though?
Whats the S2000 owner stereotype though?
you had to go and ask!