A tonic to modern life
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From: sideways with an OWL!
A tonic to modern life
Life is shit. You work for people you don't respect. You pay tax to idiots that squander your money. Everything you do and say is monitored, banned, restricted, limited in every which way. Freedom comes less and less. You wonder why it's worth bothering any more. There is no joy left in life. The colour is bleaching out, being leached out leaving less to live for.
It's a saturday night. You've spent most of the day in bed because there's no reason to get up. The sun is starting to set, both figuratively and literally. It's cold, but it's clear. There used to be simple joys, but maybe there still are. The keys are picked up, you unlock the car and get in. Once a symbol of freedom and joy, more it's akin to a cubicle. Just follow the crowd, do as your told, don't step out of line. But it's a comfy cubicle and the red, whilst not to everyone's taste lifts a little of the gloom.
You strike it up. It sounds a touch tinny. You set off into the light saturday night traffic. Plenty of flashing blue lights hurrying to another victim of pent up frustration. It slips quietly, effortlessly through the traffic, and 15 minutes later, the houses start to thin.
You press two buttons. One seemingly does nothing but lights up the dash board. The other makes the engine sing a little higher. 24 valves working harder. The white and black sign looms and you press down. The engine races towards the redline with no effort, you change gear once, twice and a third time before you reign yourself in. Another village, a little crowd outside a pub and then the road starts to twist upwards. You open it up again. You've not seen another car for 5 minutes and you're only 20 minutes from Leeds City Centre.
Pushing through the bends, waiting for the rear to step out, but it grips harder throwing you out of the corner at speeds that finally start to tease a smile out of you. A new section of tarmac, no centre line urges you on, tight left, fast right, braking for a crest, left, right, left, left. The car narrows to a caterham like width, the hard edged metallic noise from the engine just throwing you on even harder.
You're on top of the hills now and pull over. The sun has been gone a while but there's still light left to see. The only sound is ticking and pinging as metals cool at different rates. In 5 minutes listening to only roosting noises, no cars go past. Left to go back? Or right to go on?
Right of course, leaving a blackened turnout and wisps of smoke behind you. Still no cars. 15 miles and counting. Approaching a junction, a subaru comes the other way. You consider waving or thumbs up, but such things can be misinterpreted. It's enough to know it's quit. It's a short blast down an a road to the route home. A couple of safe overtakes and plenty of flashing. Let them have their annoyance, you have the open road.
Off the road, then another junction and you just can't help yourself and it's fully sideways. So tractable, so fun. Most of the rest of the journey is a blur, no traffic, open roads, fast corners, slow corners, bump stop compressions and more than a little rubber left behind.
A lonely roundabout signals the return to "civilisation". It would be rude not to. Quarter turn of lock, power on, modulated slightly and it slides beautifully. One and half times round, then powering out with a dab off oppo (natch) you're flying down and then ease off.
Maybe there are still moments to be had. They're getting fewer and farther between. So take them whilst you can.
This is our decision
To live fast and die young
we have got the vision
now lets go an have some fun
It's a saturday night. You've spent most of the day in bed because there's no reason to get up. The sun is starting to set, both figuratively and literally. It's cold, but it's clear. There used to be simple joys, but maybe there still are. The keys are picked up, you unlock the car and get in. Once a symbol of freedom and joy, more it's akin to a cubicle. Just follow the crowd, do as your told, don't step out of line. But it's a comfy cubicle and the red, whilst not to everyone's taste lifts a little of the gloom.
You strike it up. It sounds a touch tinny. You set off into the light saturday night traffic. Plenty of flashing blue lights hurrying to another victim of pent up frustration. It slips quietly, effortlessly through the traffic, and 15 minutes later, the houses start to thin.
You press two buttons. One seemingly does nothing but lights up the dash board. The other makes the engine sing a little higher. 24 valves working harder. The white and black sign looms and you press down. The engine races towards the redline with no effort, you change gear once, twice and a third time before you reign yourself in. Another village, a little crowd outside a pub and then the road starts to twist upwards. You open it up again. You've not seen another car for 5 minutes and you're only 20 minutes from Leeds City Centre.
Pushing through the bends, waiting for the rear to step out, but it grips harder throwing you out of the corner at speeds that finally start to tease a smile out of you. A new section of tarmac, no centre line urges you on, tight left, fast right, braking for a crest, left, right, left, left. The car narrows to a caterham like width, the hard edged metallic noise from the engine just throwing you on even harder.
You're on top of the hills now and pull over. The sun has been gone a while but there's still light left to see. The only sound is ticking and pinging as metals cool at different rates. In 5 minutes listening to only roosting noises, no cars go past. Left to go back? Or right to go on?
Right of course, leaving a blackened turnout and wisps of smoke behind you. Still no cars. 15 miles and counting. Approaching a junction, a subaru comes the other way. You consider waving or thumbs up, but such things can be misinterpreted. It's enough to know it's quit. It's a short blast down an a road to the route home. A couple of safe overtakes and plenty of flashing. Let them have their annoyance, you have the open road.
Off the road, then another junction and you just can't help yourself and it's fully sideways. So tractable, so fun. Most of the rest of the journey is a blur, no traffic, open roads, fast corners, slow corners, bump stop compressions and more than a little rubber left behind.
A lonely roundabout signals the return to "civilisation". It would be rude not to. Quarter turn of lock, power on, modulated slightly and it slides beautifully. One and half times round, then powering out with a dab off oppo (natch) you're flying down and then ease off.
Maybe there are still moments to be had. They're getting fewer and farther between. So take them whilst you can.
This is our decision
To live fast and die young
we have got the vision
now lets go an have some fun
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,905
Likes: 0
Have you been on the sauce???
Right ... realilty check.
Your tax rate is fecking brutal.
Your pay check in April sucks compared to March. ( Not reported in the news I may add ).
Everyone owes the rest of the world £30K+ per man, woman and child.
All the 60mph B roads are now 50mph B roads with speed cameras every few miles.
Any attempt ( I mean ANY!!!) at driving with performance, precision and pace - and you get fecked.
The Island sucks for those who have noticed.
Problem is... most folks don't.
Right ... realilty check.
Your tax rate is fecking brutal.
Your pay check in April sucks compared to March. ( Not reported in the news I may add ).
Everyone owes the rest of the world £30K+ per man, woman and child.
All the 60mph B roads are now 50mph B roads with speed cameras every few miles.
Any attempt ( I mean ANY!!!) at driving with performance, precision and pace - and you get fecked.
The Island sucks for those who have noticed.
Problem is... most folks don't.
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,905
Likes: 0
How long before the Ricky Run is plagued by plod jumping out of the shrubbery with cameras? I give it 2 years
Such enjoyment for me is on my own at road legal limits; and as I get to travel a lot - I get to enjoy the countries have rather differing limits.
I have noticed almost every B road withing 5 miles from me has a reduced speed limit.
End of an era.
Such enjoyment for me is on my own at road legal limits; and as I get to travel a lot - I get to enjoy the countries have rather differing limits.
I have noticed almost every B road withing 5 miles from me has a reduced speed limit.
End of an era.