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I'm not trying to be morbid and I am NOT depressed or anything. I just think about death at times. Mostly about what happens afterwards. Sure, folks say, don't worry about it because YOU won't have to do anything.
But on a serious note, I've never lost a close loved one. I think that lots of folks have experienced death of their close friends, loved ones, etc. and with those, it helps you to understand the impact it can have. Some folks are able to cope better and some, well, some can't cope at all.
I can't imagine and don't want to imagine any my close friends or my family members not being around anymore. So I don't think of that, but I do think of how folks might have to help Anna clean up my "stuff" aroudn the house and how that can emotionally tear a person to pieces. So, that's when I DO THINK about someone close to me.
How do you go into their house or their car or their anything and help put closure. Memories will surely abound and how do folks overcome that? It must be the hardest thing any human endures; to lose a loved one. Yet, you hear folks say, "Think about the good times, the happy times." How could you ever do that?
I dunno, dude. Sounds like you need more stuff to do on a Friday night.
On a more serious note, I've not lost anyone close to me either.....thanks God. That being said, I'm sure I'd be devasted by the loss.
I'm not sure or how long it would take to recover. But, I don't think it's something one ever gets over. I guess the idea is for them to live forever in your memory.......
It sounds like you sense a loss of control in your life and are obsessing on putting everything in its place. You are so desperate to gain control that you have projected your condition even beyond life, to the afterlife.
The only way to gain control is to come to Wilmy and detail my car.
Earlier this year I lost my grandfather and my hedgehog. Obviously two very different relationships but both incredibly difficult.
My grandfather was admitted to the hospital just days before Wake the Dragon (I was going to skip the Dragon, but both of my parents encouraged me to go and get away and have some fun). After losing weight it was found that he had pneumonia. My grandparents lived in Roanoke which was on the way home from the Dragon. So I took that Monday off and went to visit both of them. He passed away several days after I last saw him.
My father was crushed but remained very strong in the presence of family and friends. For me, it helped that I got to see him one last time and tell him that I loved him. Afterwards my grandmother was surrounded by friends and family that tried to distract her from the terrible loss. My father now goes down to visit once or twice a month to help sort through everything. We all have kept things to remember him by. My father recalls stories of the things he finds while cleaning. He realizes more about his father and the little intricacies that made him who he was. These are the little things that you take for granted on a day to day basis. Example-how messy he was or how he stock piled certain tools or how he had things arranged in a way that no one else could figure out, but it made perfect sense to him. I could go on and on, but I hope that makes sense. It is not easy for my father to go and sort through everything, but he is doing what he can to be there for my grandmother.
When I lost my hedgehog I felt far more pain. It sounds weird to feel more pain over her than the loss of my grandfather but Macy was helpless. She was middle-aged and should have lived longer. I wasn't prepared for it like I was with my grandfather who had nagging health issues. Cancer took her from me and there was nothing I could do. I had a very small group that knew her and how close our relationship was which made it difficult for a lot of my friends to relate (especially those without pets). Not having that support from people who understood or could relate was very difficult. To this day I still can't bring myself to clean her cage for the last time. The people and support they offer help you focus on the good times and distract you from the pain. I am not sure if I really answered any of your questions but hopefully this will help explain something.
When I lost my hedgehog I felt far more pain. It sounds weird to feel more pain over her than the loss of my grandfather but Macy was helpless.
I can relate to that. I have been very fortunate to not have lost anyone that is real close to me. I did however loose a cat (KC) that I had for about 18 years. That was extremely difficult, especially having to make the decision to end her life. I think one big difference is the fact that our pets are there every day of our lives for however long we are fortunate enough to have them. I think loosing someone or a pet that you share every day with is different than maybe a grandparent, sibling or even a parent that is only seen on occasion. Again, that is my experience to date. I would not presume to know the impact of loosing a child no matter the circumstance. I did loose my grandparents when I was very young. I really didn
This thread scares me a little. I buy a sports bike and you have a couple of threads on death going!
Anyways, as for the memories of lost loved ones -- The natural tendency is to forget the bad and only remember the good. I think this keeps them alive in spirit.
I lost my father almost 5 years ago today and it is very hard to deal with. My parents had been married for over 55 years. It is tough on my mother as you might imagine but she honestly keeps him alive in spirit by talking about all the good he did and raising 5 kids, etc.
As far as being haunted by memories -- you can look at it that way or look at it as being blessed by memories. I guess it is the glass half full half empty argument.
Anyways, may I suggest you try not to obsess on death and enjoy life as much as you can.
The quills did hurt. Especially if I didn't vacum regularly. She would occassionally lose a quill in the carpet and it would pierce a barefoot. The quills are so sharp though that even after one went very deep into the bottom of my foot it didn't bleed.
Once you get used to handling them you don't notice the quills. It takes a while to socialize them and once they become tame they don't put their quills up as often.
They are very interesting little creatures. Macy was incredibly tame and very affectionate. Something her vet said he has never seen in a hedgehog. Most are very skiddish and spook very easily. She would let the vet do whatever he needed to without putting up a fuss.
When you or I die. . .
I just think about death at times. Mostly about what happens afterwards. Sure, folks say, don't worry about it because YOU won't have to do anything. 
It must be the hardest thing any human endures; to lose a loved one. Yet, you hear folks say, "Think about the good times, the happy times." How could you ever do that? 
