Titanic: $29.95
Clinton: $29.95

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read.
Clinton: Over 3 hours to read.

Titanic: The story of jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

TitanicJack is a starving artist.
Clinton: Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton: Ditto for Bill.

Titanic: During an ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Let's not go there.

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry:
Clinton: Monica's forced to return her gifts.

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton: Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of Seamen.
Clinton: Let's not go there either.

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hillary -- basically the same thing.

 

OMG this is great!!!

 

Bump.

 

Come on, this is funny, God damnit.