Confessions of a Celebrity Telephone Man
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 28,318
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From: This is not my house!
(this one is tame)
My second summer as a phone man I was 23 and I had the unenviable job of putting "ringer isolators" on rural party lines. These are relays that wired properly onto a party line will reduce the buzzing sounds caused by induction in lines that are unbalanced... as all party lines are.
No appointment was needed to get these intalled... we just had a list of phone numbers and addresses. I would simply go door to door.
It was a beautiful day near Arva where I was working and I pulled up the long drive of a beautiful old farm. The red brick house was typical of southwestern Ontario. The windows were open and screen door while closed had the screen open to let the breeze flow through the house.
I knocked on the screen door and received no answer. I went out to the terminal near the road to check if this was the house I was looking for. It was.
I walked back to the house and there was still no answer to my knock. If there was an outside protector (connection) I wouldn't have to bother the people; perhaps the baby and mother were napping. There was a car in the drive but maybe the woman of the house had walked to the neighbours place, though that was an eight of a mile.
I walked the perimeter of the house to find the protector or at least where the drop (wire) went into the house. As I got around the back I glanced out at the pool that was surrounded by a fence.
Well I found the woman of the house. See saw me just as I walked by the fence and saw her.
Completely naked and very attractive. She wigged. She jumped up yelling 'oh my god!" She ran into the house passing right by me and leaving her towel on the chaise long (why I don't know).
The screen door slammed (just like the Springsteen song) and I could still hear her saying 'OH MY GOD'.
I stood there like an idiot for a while and then figured I'd better leave. When I got into my truck I thought leaving would be stupid. I thought I should at least explain. I felt so awkward.
I got out of the truck pretty darned embarassed waited for a minute, lost my nerve and started to get back in the truck.
She then opened the screen door and firmly said "what are you doing here?" I smiled a little nervously and told her.
I had found (unfortunately if you can imagine my state of mind) that the protector was inside the basement. She let me in with a pretty gruff demeanor and I went downstairs, did my work and packed my tools.
She had calmed down by the time I was done and offered me a glass of water. I declined and beat it to the door. As I breathed a sigh of relief and walked to my truck she called after me, "excuse me". I stopped and turned around. "yes?"
"Was that fun?", she asked. I grinned like an idiot. "Sure was!" I said.
She laughed and waved. I drove off still grinning.
[If I was a big fat liar I would have told this story differently. And 'no' it's doubtful you would have done what your going to say you would. I'll tell another story late
r that will (perhaps) explain why]
My second summer as a phone man I was 23 and I had the unenviable job of putting "ringer isolators" on rural party lines. These are relays that wired properly onto a party line will reduce the buzzing sounds caused by induction in lines that are unbalanced... as all party lines are.
No appointment was needed to get these intalled... we just had a list of phone numbers and addresses. I would simply go door to door.
It was a beautiful day near Arva where I was working and I pulled up the long drive of a beautiful old farm. The red brick house was typical of southwestern Ontario. The windows were open and screen door while closed had the screen open to let the breeze flow through the house.
I knocked on the screen door and received no answer. I went out to the terminal near the road to check if this was the house I was looking for. It was.
I walked back to the house and there was still no answer to my knock. If there was an outside protector (connection) I wouldn't have to bother the people; perhaps the baby and mother were napping. There was a car in the drive but maybe the woman of the house had walked to the neighbours place, though that was an eight of a mile.
I walked the perimeter of the house to find the protector or at least where the drop (wire) went into the house. As I got around the back I glanced out at the pool that was surrounded by a fence.
Well I found the woman of the house. See saw me just as I walked by the fence and saw her.
Completely naked and very attractive. She wigged. She jumped up yelling 'oh my god!" She ran into the house passing right by me and leaving her towel on the chaise long (why I don't know).
The screen door slammed (just like the Springsteen song) and I could still hear her saying 'OH MY GOD'.
I stood there like an idiot for a while and then figured I'd better leave. When I got into my truck I thought leaving would be stupid. I thought I should at least explain. I felt so awkward.
I got out of the truck pretty darned embarassed waited for a minute, lost my nerve and started to get back in the truck.
She then opened the screen door and firmly said "what are you doing here?" I smiled a little nervously and told her.
I had found (unfortunately if you can imagine my state of mind) that the protector was inside the basement. She let me in with a pretty gruff demeanor and I went downstairs, did my work and packed my tools.
She had calmed down by the time I was done and offered me a glass of water. I declined and beat it to the door. As I breathed a sigh of relief and walked to my truck she called after me, "excuse me". I stopped and turned around. "yes?"
"Was that fun?", she asked. I grinned like an idiot. "Sure was!" I said.
She laughed and waved. I drove off still grinning.
[If I was a big fat liar I would have told this story differently. And 'no' it's doubtful you would have done what your going to say you would. I'll tell another story late
r that will (perhaps) explain why]
The life of a POTS man 
