Confessions of a Celebrity Telephone Man
Joined: Jun 2001
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From: Pt. A to Pt. B via VTEC!!
Originally Posted by jedwards,Aug 13 2004, 12:56 PM
You guys are oversexed... there are other things in the world you know! 
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Joined: Jul 2001
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From: This is not my house!
This one wasn't me but I guarantee you this is NOT one of those apocryphal stories that happened to "a friend of a friend". This one happened to a friend of mine named Dave S. (Dave was a story in himself. 
)
Dave was a business installer. This means his job was to go out and intall the kind of phones that you are probably looking at in your office. I think I recall that this in the days before 'electronic' phones (with LEDs and 4 conductor wiring) but Dave went back to the days of 1A key (remember the black phones with 5 clear buttons and a red 'hold button'?) with the great honking cables (up to 25 pair... that means 50 little wires inside and cable as thick as a hot dog). This was one of those jobs.
Dave had the task of wiring a business with manufacturing in the back and an office in the front. I know the building and offices well. It was originally all manufacturing but the front had been converted to offices with a drop ceiling and drywall divisions put in. They'd done a pretty nice job of this old plant.
When Dave surveyed the job and found no basement but a huge space above the ceiling, running the wire through the space above the ceiling and 'fishing' it down the walls became the obvious choice.
Now Bell has all kinds of safety regulations and stuff like standing on the top of a step ladder is strictly forbidden. Dave had two step ladders. An 8 foot step and a very unwieldy 12 foot step ladder. Dave used the 8 foot ladder to climb up and inspect the space above the ceiling by carefully manuveuring the ladder between the desks (which were already occupied by the staff who had moved in) and lifting a tile.
Looking around above the ceiling Dave quickly saw that the roof truss was far too high to use to support the wire as was often or normally done, but there was plenty of room up there to run the cable. In fact there was enough room up there for a second floor.
And the strangest thing. There was a table up in the ceiling. Yeah... a table! It was upside down with the legs pointing upward and the tabletop facing downward against the top of the ceiling tiles. There no explanation of why it was there.
Much to Dave's pleasure he also realized that he could do the whole job from the 8 foot step since he could comfortably lift out tiles and toss the wire across the ceiling... without having to stand on the top.
So Dave got all his gear ready and began the job. He popped out the tiles closest to the IT (Inside Terminal) where the initial connections are made, and grabbing a big coil of cable climbed up the ladder. He tossed out the loop and it went about 10 feet.
The way you do this is by coiling up the wire in a counter-clockwise direction (if your a righty) and throwing it with your right hand like a frisbee so it uncoils as it flies along.
Dave was good at his job and that 10 foot toss was pretty good with a big coil like he was throwing. After a few more tosses he was out in the middle of the large office space about the desks... right neat the upside down table.
He had to cross the table so above the ceiling he gave it a throw. Son of a bitch! It hits a table leg and stops about 3 feet from him.
This is a big pain in the ass because you usually have to uncoil the cable and recoil it every time or it gets tangled.
He went through this process and threw again. Damn! Again it hits a table leg. Same process again and on the third throw same thing... hits the table leg.
This time though Dave sees that the coil is pretty much perfect and he won't need to recoil it if he can get it without disturbing it. It's just sitting there on top of the table... just out of reach.
Dave climbs to the top of the step ladder (no manager around) and leans out over the table. He puts one hand on the table to steady himself and leans out a little more to grab the coil.
Bang! goes the support wire that is used to hold up the ceiling frame. Bang, bang, bang go a few more around it. WHOOMP! Goes the whole frigging ceiling.
Dave managed to keep steady on top of the ladder an when the dust was settling there was Dave standing at the very very top of an 8 foot step ladder in the middle of a very big room with wires dangling that used to support a ceiling. All of the ceiling tile lay rumpled over the desk, much like a moonscape (I saw this).
Now the dust is settling and it's totally quiet (underlined by the cacaphony of a moment before). Part of the moonscape starts to move and a man pops out from below it.
Dave says, "Holy shit man! Are you okay!?" The guy answers, "Yeah I guess so.... where's Bill? He was there." , and point to where the table now lay.
As a few other people emerged from under their piece of moonscape, Dave carefully climbed down of the ladder and helped look for Bill.
Bill was found under the table and under some ceiling tile and eventually regained consciousness. Dave did't get in as much shit as the guys who put up the ceiling. It seems they had used 1/4 as many wire ties to hold it up as they should.
There was never any explanation for the table.
)Dave was a business installer. This means his job was to go out and intall the kind of phones that you are probably looking at in your office. I think I recall that this in the days before 'electronic' phones (with LEDs and 4 conductor wiring) but Dave went back to the days of 1A key (remember the black phones with 5 clear buttons and a red 'hold button'?) with the great honking cables (up to 25 pair... that means 50 little wires inside and cable as thick as a hot dog). This was one of those jobs.
Dave had the task of wiring a business with manufacturing in the back and an office in the front. I know the building and offices well. It was originally all manufacturing but the front had been converted to offices with a drop ceiling and drywall divisions put in. They'd done a pretty nice job of this old plant.
When Dave surveyed the job and found no basement but a huge space above the ceiling, running the wire through the space above the ceiling and 'fishing' it down the walls became the obvious choice.
Now Bell has all kinds of safety regulations and stuff like standing on the top of a step ladder is strictly forbidden. Dave had two step ladders. An 8 foot step and a very unwieldy 12 foot step ladder. Dave used the 8 foot ladder to climb up and inspect the space above the ceiling by carefully manuveuring the ladder between the desks (which were already occupied by the staff who had moved in) and lifting a tile.
Looking around above the ceiling Dave quickly saw that the roof truss was far too high to use to support the wire as was often or normally done, but there was plenty of room up there to run the cable. In fact there was enough room up there for a second floor.
And the strangest thing. There was a table up in the ceiling. Yeah... a table! It was upside down with the legs pointing upward and the tabletop facing downward against the top of the ceiling tiles. There no explanation of why it was there.
Much to Dave's pleasure he also realized that he could do the whole job from the 8 foot step since he could comfortably lift out tiles and toss the wire across the ceiling... without having to stand on the top.
So Dave got all his gear ready and began the job. He popped out the tiles closest to the IT (Inside Terminal) where the initial connections are made, and grabbing a big coil of cable climbed up the ladder. He tossed out the loop and it went about 10 feet.
The way you do this is by coiling up the wire in a counter-clockwise direction (if your a righty) and throwing it with your right hand like a frisbee so it uncoils as it flies along.
Dave was good at his job and that 10 foot toss was pretty good with a big coil like he was throwing. After a few more tosses he was out in the middle of the large office space about the desks... right neat the upside down table.
He had to cross the table so above the ceiling he gave it a throw. Son of a bitch! It hits a table leg and stops about 3 feet from him.
This is a big pain in the ass because you usually have to uncoil the cable and recoil it every time or it gets tangled.
He went through this process and threw again. Damn! Again it hits a table leg. Same process again and on the third throw same thing... hits the table leg.
This time though Dave sees that the coil is pretty much perfect and he won't need to recoil it if he can get it without disturbing it. It's just sitting there on top of the table... just out of reach.
Dave climbs to the top of the step ladder (no manager around) and leans out over the table. He puts one hand on the table to steady himself and leans out a little more to grab the coil.
Bang! goes the support wire that is used to hold up the ceiling frame. Bang, bang, bang go a few more around it. WHOOMP! Goes the whole frigging ceiling.
Dave managed to keep steady on top of the ladder an when the dust was settling there was Dave standing at the very very top of an 8 foot step ladder in the middle of a very big room with wires dangling that used to support a ceiling. All of the ceiling tile lay rumpled over the desk, much like a moonscape (I saw this).
Now the dust is settling and it's totally quiet (underlined by the cacaphony of a moment before). Part of the moonscape starts to move and a man pops out from below it.
Dave says, "Holy shit man! Are you okay!?" The guy answers, "Yeah I guess so.... where's Bill? He was there." , and point to where the table now lay.
As a few other people emerged from under their piece of moonscape, Dave carefully climbed down of the ladder and helped look for Bill.
Bill was found under the table and under some ceiling tile and eventually regained consciousness. Dave did't get in as much shit as the guys who put up the ceiling. It seems they had used 1/4 as many wire ties to hold it up as they should.
There was never any explanation for the table.