Confessions of a Celebrity Telephone Man
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Joined: Jul 2001
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From: This is not my house!
Sometime in the mid to late eighties the phone companies started experimenting. Before that time it was relatively unheard of for a phone company to use anything but a full size van.
Bell Canada eventually tried minivans and have stuck with them to a large extent... at least for home and business installation and repair. Cable guys still drive the full size vans. But before minivans they tried station wagons. K-cars Manual transmission Reliants to be specific.
I got me a Standard Reliant K-car Station wagon.
And I drove the first one out of the garage.
Oh it was a big deal all right. The London Free Press was there as were the big shots from Toronto. They took my picture as I drove out of the garage. "Lean out just a little further... further.... fuuuurrrrther. Now smile."
Yeah there I was on the front page of the "City Section". I was hot shite.
Well not long after I'd come down from the heady experience of being on the front page of the "City Section" I was given the task of wiring a residential line. A real grounding. A real comedown. Even a slap in the face.
You see there is a hierarchy in the phone man game. I was a Business Repairman. Business was higher than Res. Repair was higher than Installation (or so we repairmen thought). Not only that but I'd recently been on the front page. You know; of the "City Section".
And there I was doing an installation. In a house. When I got there it wasn't even a house. Not even an apartment. It was a room! They had me installing in a rooming house.
I was sure there was a mistake, but no, I checked. I was installing in a rooming house.
Make it quick. Like a bandaid.
I grabbed my gear; jacks, phone, side tools, stapler, drill. Yup had it all. Off I go to the room.
Now this was a spartan room. I remember clearly she had an Elvis painting on black velvet and Elvis garbage can, a scrapbook, a bedroll (not a bed, a bedroll) and that was about it. She wanted a phone now.
So I started the survey and realized I had forgotten wire. (That's not funny. Repairmen don't need wire all the time, cut me slack.) So I told her I had to go back to the car to get some wire.
"Car!? She said brightening. "Do you have one of those new cars the phone company is using?"
"Why yes maam I do." I said more comfortable with my celebrity status than my status as a residence installer. I think that's why I said "maam". It seemed like something a celebrity telephone man would say.
She said, "That was you in the paper wasn't it!"
"Yes" I said, trying hard to blush.
She ran and grabbed the scrapbook and opened it. "Would you autograph this for me?" She fairly gushed at having a star of my status right there going to wire her phone in for her. "Please?"
I was pretty freaked out right about that moment. She was standing there holding the scrapbook open to a page and my picture was in it. The picture cut from the front page of the "City Section"! "Uh, I think it's against company policy" I said. I hurried by her down to the car.
In about a minute and a half I had the job done and I was gone.
Epilogue
A few days later my boss came and told me they'd had a complaint from one of my customers. My boss was concerned since the customer complained of 'shoddy workmanship'.
I asked where it was and of course it was the Elvis/Jedwards stalker (Elvis was lucky to be dead). I explained the story and my boss choked back laughter and incredulity. "Bullshite" he said.
I invited him to check my job and if he thought it was okay he might want to check my story.
Of course the job was fine and my boss just shook his head and laughed when he saw me the next day.
"Strange, very strange" he said. She had shown him the scrapbook.
Bell Canada eventually tried minivans and have stuck with them to a large extent... at least for home and business installation and repair. Cable guys still drive the full size vans. But before minivans they tried station wagons. K-cars Manual transmission Reliants to be specific.
I got me a Standard Reliant K-car Station wagon.
And I drove the first one out of the garage.
Oh it was a big deal all right. The London Free Press was there as were the big shots from Toronto. They took my picture as I drove out of the garage. "Lean out just a little further... further.... fuuuurrrrther. Now smile."
Yeah there I was on the front page of the "City Section". I was hot shite.
Well not long after I'd come down from the heady experience of being on the front page of the "City Section" I was given the task of wiring a residential line. A real grounding. A real comedown. Even a slap in the face.
You see there is a hierarchy in the phone man game. I was a Business Repairman. Business was higher than Res. Repair was higher than Installation (or so we repairmen thought). Not only that but I'd recently been on the front page. You know; of the "City Section".
And there I was doing an installation. In a house. When I got there it wasn't even a house. Not even an apartment. It was a room! They had me installing in a rooming house.
I was sure there was a mistake, but no, I checked. I was installing in a rooming house.
Make it quick. Like a bandaid.
I grabbed my gear; jacks, phone, side tools, stapler, drill. Yup had it all. Off I go to the room.
Now this was a spartan room. I remember clearly she had an Elvis painting on black velvet and Elvis garbage can, a scrapbook, a bedroll (not a bed, a bedroll) and that was about it. She wanted a phone now.
So I started the survey and realized I had forgotten wire. (That's not funny. Repairmen don't need wire all the time, cut me slack.) So I told her I had to go back to the car to get some wire.
"Car!? She said brightening. "Do you have one of those new cars the phone company is using?"
"Why yes maam I do." I said more comfortable with my celebrity status than my status as a residence installer. I think that's why I said "maam". It seemed like something a celebrity telephone man would say.
She said, "That was you in the paper wasn't it!"
"Yes" I said, trying hard to blush.
She ran and grabbed the scrapbook and opened it. "Would you autograph this for me?" She fairly gushed at having a star of my status right there going to wire her phone in for her. "Please?"
I was pretty freaked out right about that moment. She was standing there holding the scrapbook open to a page and my picture was in it. The picture cut from the front page of the "City Section"! "Uh, I think it's against company policy" I said. I hurried by her down to the car.
In about a minute and a half I had the job done and I was gone.
Epilogue
A few days later my boss came and told me they'd had a complaint from one of my customers. My boss was concerned since the customer complained of 'shoddy workmanship'.
I asked where it was and of course it was the Elvis/Jedwards stalker (Elvis was lucky to be dead). I explained the story and my boss choked back laughter and incredulity. "Bullshite" he said.
I invited him to check my job and if he thought it was okay he might want to check my story.
Of course the job was fine and my boss just shook his head and laughed when he saw me the next day.
"Strange, very strange" he said. She had shown him the scrapbook.