And if that heap of junk you call a car puts one more spot of oil on the driveway, I am going to take that sledgehammer and redesign the bl00dy thing !!!!!!!!!

 

If YOUR cats walk on MY car one more time....!

 

Oh so it is YOUR car now is it?!?!?!?! When it comes to paying for all those bloody stupid bit and pieces you keep buying for it the money comes out of OUR account, but it is for YOUR car !!!!!!!!

I see!!!!!

 

I think it's YOUR turn to make breakfast.

 

Honey, I'm really sorry, but I accidentally dropped the automatic garage door onto the hood of your brand new Jag. (I once knew someone that really happened to.)

 

You're 18 now. That means you can bail your own a$$ out of jail now. Don't call here again, unless it's to wish me a Happy Mother's Day!

 

Zaino-shmaino, you WILL watch the kids today!

(I also know someone this happened to )

 

heh heh heh....<snicker>

 

You're my general contractor and you're supposed to be my friend. Why are you f*cking me around like this. My refrigerator has been sitting in the breezeway betreen the house and the garage for over a month. I get up to get a drink of water in the middle of the night and I have to put my pants on and go outside. Your painter spray painted all the bushes in my front yard. You f*cked up the redwood deck and had to rebuild it all from scratch -- twice. And you used cheap, inferior wood. You said you were installing an attic fan one day. Instead you decided to work on the water heater and turned the water off just as my landscaper was putting new sod in the back yard -- and watching the new grass lilt before his eyes. After you almost got in a fistfight with him, you turned the water back on without the water heater sealed and flooded and ruined my just installed oak floor in my kitchen. I ordered a brushed aluminum stove top and Instead you showed up with a puke mustard colored one. The stove shroud was the wrong size because you didn't bother to measure it and assumed it was the same size as the stovetop. You didn't pull permits and now the city is pissed off at me. You left a big mess -- wood, nails, etc. everywhere. You made a complete hash of rebuilding the brick wall in my back yard and slopped concrete all over antique bricks. You never showed up on time, some days not at all. The only thing that got done right was the new roof, because you subcontracted it out and had nothing to do with it. I spent enough money on this project to buy a new luxury car, maybe two. You are a complete asshole. (Every word of this is a true story.)

 

(hoo boy, contractors... Don't get me started. Still, your story is worse than mine, Raptor; I'll take some comfort in that! )