"Congress is investigating steroids. It's kind of ironic, isn't it? Ted Kennedy asking somebody how their head got so big." --Jay Leno

 

"Apparently, some punk kids went nuts and tipped over Ted Kennedy" --David Letterman, on the New England Patriots' Super Bowl parade

 

"It was a long, dull speech. Halfway through, Ted Kennedy sent drinks over to the Bush twins."

 

"Today was President Bush's inauguration. What a great symbol for our republic, the inauguration. Everyone had a good time. Senator Ted Kennedy was in a good mood, he had a few too many cocktails and was writing his name in the snow." --David Letterman

 

"Ted Kennedy said today that the Democratic party is still the majority party. That means he's been drinking again." --Jay Leno

 

"Did you see who's campaigning with John Kerry now? Ted Kennedy! Can you imagine those two giant heads coming down the street together? It's gonna look like a Macy's Day parade."

 

"Ted Kennedy is endorsing John Kerry and I'm wondering, do you really want the endorsement of a guy with a Bloody Mary mustache?"

 

Perhaps someone need "Report" this thread so that it can be deleted just as excelto said that it would. ROFLOL!!!

 

"Declassified papers report that John Kennedy was taking eight different medications a day. He was so wasted, his Secret Service code name was Ted Kennedy."

 

"It's Bring Your Daughter to Work Day. This tradition began about 25 years ago down in Washington, D.C. by a quick-thinking Ted Kennedy who was spotted leaving his office with an 18-year-old."