Top Ten Reasons Dick Cheney Won’t Resign: David Letterman

10. Trying to fix up Condi Rice with his daughter.
9. Turns out when you shoot somebody, if you’re not Vice President, you gotta do time.
8. Bush leaves at two every day and then it’s margaritas and Fritos.
7. Set the Solitaire high score on his office computer.
6. Wants to see if he can help Bush get his approval rating under ten.
5. Too hard to give up vice presidential discount at DC area Sam Goody stores.
4. Wants to stay on the job until every country in the world hates us.
3. Extra-zappy White House defibrillators.
2. Undisclosed location has foosball table and whores.
1. Why quit when things are going so well?

 

 

"President Bush's approval rating is not good. A new Gallup poll puts it at just 36% which is a new low for his presidency. He is just slightly more popular than herpes now." --Jimmy Kimmel

 

 

“President Bush, this is what he said. He said he's not worried about his approval rating at 33% because he said he promises to reverse those numbers. Now I'm not a mathematician, but if you take 33 and reverse it, isn't it still 33?” -- Jay Leno