Bill invites intern Monica to the oval office, "Would you like to see my clock?"

"Sure," she says.

They walk into the oval office, Bill shuts the door and promptly drops his pants. Monica gasps, "Bill, that's not a clock! That's a cock!"

"Well, Monica," he says, "if you put a face and two hands on it, it will be!"

 

Good, "Bad Clinton" jokes - I LIKEY...

 

 

Actually, Bill quit smoking cigars quite some time ago...


























... he heard they were for pussies.

 

Toward the end of his administration, Bill & Hillary were attending an early season baseball game. One of the secret servicemen leaned toward Bill and whispered something into his ear. Bill turned and asked the serviceman,"Do they really?"
The serviceman replied, "Yes Mr. President, they certainly do"

Bill and Hillary both stood up and to the surprise of the crowd, Bill grabbed Hillary and tossed her out onto the field. The crowd erupted into cheers and applause. After smiling and waving at the crowd for a few moments, Bill sat down, while Hillary, obviously embarassed, made her way off the field. The serviceman leaned back toward Bill and said, " that's very good Mr. President... but THey were wanting you to throw out the first PITCH".