Two patients limp into two different American Medical clinics with the same complaint. Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement. The first patient is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following week. The second sees the family doctor after waiting a week for an appointment, then waits eighteen weeks to see a specialist, then gets an x-ray, which isn't reviewed for another week and finally has his surgery scheduled for 6 months from then. Why the different treatment for the two patients?

The first is a Golden Retriever. The second is a senior citizen.

 

Excuse me. . . yeah. . . is the avocado enema still covered with the new plan?

 

you think medicare is bad, wait till you get HMO

 

I've not had any major problems with Kaiser. . . except for the lack of avocado enemas.

 

There's a big deductible on a guacamole enema. The medical profession still considers it an "elective procedure."

 

If only we could pass a $0.10 viagra tax to fund better health care...

 

Why VIAGRA? Because that look she gives is only meant for you. Because an empty nest is the chance to fall in love all over again. Because reading the Sunday paper doesn

 

Who let Bob Dole in here?

 

No, I think that was Mark Martin.

 

. . . too bad it wasn't Martin Mull