What did the Oracle say Neo?
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 51,814
Likes: 5
From: par•a•dox
What did the Oracle say Neo?
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 51,814
Likes: 5
From: par•a•dox
Behold the Oracle's wisdom:
Personality type: High Maintenance
You pride yourself on being assertive and direct; everyone else thinks you're bossy and arrogant. You're constantly running your mouth about topics that only you would find interesting. Your capacity for wasting other people's time is limitless. Your friends find you intolerable, that's why they're plotting to kill you.
Also drinks: Water. Bottled, chilled, with four ice cubes, a twist of lemon, in a crystal glass.
Can also be found at: Trendy martini bars
Personality type: High Maintenance
You pride yourself on being assertive and direct; everyone else thinks you're bossy and arrogant. You're constantly running your mouth about topics that only you would find interesting. Your capacity for wasting other people's time is limitless. Your friends find you intolerable, that's why they're plotting to kill you.
Also drinks: Water. Bottled, chilled, with four ice cubes, a twist of lemon, in a crystal glass.
Can also be found at: Trendy martini bars
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 64,605
Likes: 1,226
Behold the Oracle's wisdom:
Personality type: Lame
You're a simple person with modest tastes and a reasonable lifestyle. In other words, you're boring. Going to Starbucks makes you feel sophisticated; you'd like to be snooty and order an espresso but aren't sure if you're ready for that level of excitement. People laugh at you because you use fake curse words like "friggin'" and "oh, crumb!" Everyone who thinks America's Funniest Home Videos is a great show drinks juice.
Also drinks: V8
Can also be found: On the couch at home
Personality type: Lame
You're a simple person with modest tastes and a reasonable lifestyle. In other words, you're boring. Going to Starbucks makes you feel sophisticated; you'd like to be snooty and order an espresso but aren't sure if you're ready for that level of excitement. People laugh at you because you use fake curse words like "friggin'" and "oh, crumb!" Everyone who thinks America's Funniest Home Videos is a great show drinks juice.
Also drinks: V8
Can also be found: On the couch at home
For the record, I don't use "fake curse words" OR drink V8
I didn't even know what to put in for a drink since I don't drink coffee and I can't remember the last time I set foot in a Starfocks. 
Apparently I'm boring!
Former Moderator
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 105,828
Likes: 152
uh... this is pretty good..especially since i AM an ass-clown 
dunno about zima though..
Personality type: Ass-clown
You tell people that you're an executive at your company. You think that your repeated references to being "addicted" to caffeine make you seem intriguing and dangerous. People think you're a sucker because you spend 60% of your annual income at Starbucks. Everyone who drinks venti coffee ends up addicted to crack.
Also drinks: Zima
Can also be found at: Karaoke bars
dunno about zima though..
Personality type: Ass-clown
You tell people that you're an executive at your company. You think that your repeated references to being "addicted" to caffeine make you seem intriguing and dangerous. People think you're a sucker because you spend 60% of your annual income at Starbucks. Everyone who drinks venti coffee ends up addicted to crack.
Also drinks: Zima
Can also be found at: Karaoke bars
But what's zima? 
Registered User
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 3,622
Likes: 0
From: Kansas City
Personality type: Freak
No person of sound mind would go to an EXPENSIVE COFFEE SHOP to get a drink WITHOUT CAFFEINE. Your hobbies include going to ski resorts in the summer and flushing $5 bills down the toilet. You are a menace to society.
Also drinks: Non-alcoholic beer
Can also be found at: Pools with no water
No person of sound mind would go to an EXPENSIVE COFFEE SHOP to get a drink WITHOUT CAFFEINE. Your hobbies include going to ski resorts in the summer and flushing $5 bills down the toilet. You are a menace to society.
Also drinks: Non-alcoholic beer
Can also be found at: Pools with no water
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Smartass. Fuck you! No matter how you spell it, Starbucks is still a swear word in my book. 
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 93,305
Likes: 820
From: Nowhere
Personality type: Asshat
You carry around philosophy books you haven't read and wear trendy wire-rimmed glasses even though you have perfect vision. You've probably added an accent to your name or changed the pronunciation to seem sophisticated. You hang out in coffee shops because you don't have a job because you got your degree in French Poetry. People who drink Captain and Coke are notorious for spouting off angry, liberal opinions about issues they don't understand.
Also drinks: Any drink with a foreign name
Can also be found at: The other, locally owned coffee shop you claim to like better
You carry around philosophy books you haven't read and wear trendy wire-rimmed glasses even though you have perfect vision. You've probably added an accent to your name or changed the pronunciation to seem sophisticated. You hang out in coffee shops because you don't have a job because you got your degree in French Poetry. People who drink Captain and Coke are notorious for spouting off angry, liberal opinions about issues they don't understand.
Also drinks: Any drink with a foreign name
Can also be found at: The other, locally owned coffee shop you claim to like better