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Women can be so insensitive!

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Old Jun 6, 2006 | 07:21 AM
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Ralph returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, Ralph asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, and they make love. About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, "Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?" Of course, the wife agrees and they do it again. Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes he now has only 8 hours left. He touches his wife's shoulder and asks, "Honey, please... just one more time before I die?" she says, "Of course, dear." And they make love for the third time. After this session, the wife rolls over & falls asleep. Ralph, however, worried about his impending death, tosses & turns until he's down to 4 more hours. He taps his wife, who rouses. "Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could.....?" At this point the wife sits up and says, "Listen,Ralph, I have to get up in the morning, you don't."
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Old Jun 6, 2006 | 10:12 AM
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Sounds like he got stiffed on the deal.
Come tomorrow though, she'll be driving a hard bargain.
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Old Jun 6, 2006 | 10:52 AM
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LOL
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Old Jun 6, 2006 | 01:10 PM
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Originally Posted by 8D_In_Trunk,Jun 6 2006, 11:12 AM
Sounds like he got stiffed on the deal.
Come tomorrow though, she'll be driving a hard bargain.
Were you an undertaker in a former life, Brian? I have an undertaker friend who is a really funny guy and has all kinds of stories. He once was late for an embalming and was in the carpool lane driving a hearse. A Highway Patrol pulled him over and said "Where's your passenger?" He took the cop around back and showed him the stiff. The cop was laughing so hard he almost fell over -- and let him off.
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Old Jun 6, 2006 | 01:15 PM
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I'm not an undertaker, but I play one on TV.
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Old Jun 6, 2006 | 01:15 PM
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Old Jun 6, 2006 | 02:11 PM
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A good stiff joke is hard to come by.
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Old Jun 6, 2006 | 02:29 PM
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What did Rock Hudson and Liberace have in common?

They were the last to leave their friend's behind.
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Old Jun 6, 2006 | 03:10 PM
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This thread is getting pretty assanine. . . dare I say it, it may have gone pants. . .
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Old Jun 6, 2006 | 08:33 PM
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Originally Posted by The Raptor,Jun 6 2006, 07:21 AM
Ralph returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, Ralph asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, and they make love. About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, "Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?" Of course, the wife agrees and they do it again. Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes he now has only 8 hours left. He touches his wife's shoulder and asks, "Honey, please... just one more time before I die?" she says, "Of course, dear." And they make love for the third time. After this session, the wife rolls over & falls asleep. Ralph, however, worried about his impending death, tosses & turns until he's down to 4 more hours. He taps his wife, who rouses. "Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could.....?" At this point the wife sits up and says, "Listen,Ralph, I have to get up in the morning, you don't."
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