Joke of the Day
Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 11,594
Likes: 7
From: Bumpass, VA
Joke of the Day
Was surprised to review that of all the various threads that had been moved to and/or now otherwise presently exist in HAW sub-forum...there is no real "Joke of the Day" thread. Seems most appropriate to have one 
So here's a first (please feel free to add to):
An elderly man finds he is unable to perform sexually. He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things; but nothing seems to work. So the doctor refers him to an American Indian medicine man.
The medicine man says, "I can cure this." With that said, he throws a white powder in a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. Then he says, "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year. All you have to do is say '123,' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"
The guy then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to continue?" The medicine man replies, "All you or your partner has to say is 1234, and it will go down. But be warned, it will not work again for another year."
The old gent rushes home, anxious to try out his new powers and prowess. That night he is ready to surprise his wife. He showers, shaves, and puts on his most exotic shaving lotion and cologne. After he gets into bed and is lying next to her, he says, "123."
Suddenly he has the most gigantic stiffie he has ever had, just as the medicine man had promised. His wife, who had been facing away from him,
turns over and asks, "What did you say 123 for?"
So here's a first (please feel free to add to):
An elderly man finds he is unable to perform sexually. He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things; but nothing seems to work. So the doctor refers him to an American Indian medicine man.
The medicine man says, "I can cure this." With that said, he throws a white powder in a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. Then he says, "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year. All you have to do is say '123,' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"
The guy then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to continue?" The medicine man replies, "All you or your partner has to say is 1234, and it will go down. But be warned, it will not work again for another year."
The old gent rushes home, anxious to try out his new powers and prowess. That night he is ready to surprise his wife. He showers, shaves, and puts on his most exotic shaving lotion and cologne. After he gets into bed and is lying next to her, he says, "123."
Suddenly he has the most gigantic stiffie he has ever had, just as the medicine man had promised. His wife, who had been facing away from him,
turns over and asks, "What did you say 123 for?"
Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 11,594
Likes: 7
From: Bumpass, VA
Eh...
...one more 
A Nice Lawyer Story (one of four in existence)
One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in his shiny limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.
Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate the situation.
He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We HAVE TO eat grass."
Shocked, the lawyer said, "Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you!"
"But sir. I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."
Bring them along," the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he said, "You come with us, too."
The second man said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"
"Bring them all!" the lawyer answered.
They all jammed into the huge limo.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
Genuinely touched, the lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost a foot high!"
...one more A Nice Lawyer Story (one of four in existence)
One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in his shiny limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.
Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate the situation.
He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We HAVE TO eat grass."
Shocked, the lawyer said, "Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you!"
"But sir. I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."
Bring them along," the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he said, "You come with us, too."
The second man said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"
"Bring them all!" the lawyer answered.
They all jammed into the huge limo.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
Genuinely touched, the lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost a foot high!"
Registered User
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 43,083
Likes: 0
From: London, England
A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm blonde. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is blonde. The bouncer is blonde. The man sitting over to your left is also blonde. Still wanna tell that blonde joke?"
The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, "Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."
The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm blonde. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is blonde. The bouncer is blonde. The man sitting over to your left is also blonde. Still wanna tell that blonde joke?"
The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, "Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."
Trending Topics
Former Moderator
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 24,162
Likes: 3
From: Burlington, VT
[QUOTE=w1ngman,Dec 28 2005, 11:39 AM] Was surprised to review that of all the various threads that had been moved to and/or now otherwise presently exist in HAW sub-forum...there is no real "Joke of the Day" thread.