looking for a good laugh Mid-A?
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Joined: Oct 2002
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From: va beach
looking for a good laugh Mid-A?
CAR FORUM STEREOTYPES!
I found this on another car forum and thought id share.
Mercedes forum
-My wife is divorceing me and trying to take the house. How do I kill her and keep my Doctors license?
Bentley Forums
- I used the ash tray today How do I replace it?
Camaro/Firebird Forums
- My girl slept with my brother and my wife. How can I kill em? I have a record and I ain't going back.
Mustang forums
-Some punk kid in a civic tried to race me.
Monte Carlo forums
-Why do I keep getting pulled over, it aint stolen yo.
Civic forums
-Some punk kid in a Mustang tried to race me
-Just added some more decals (5hp gain)
-whose tailpipe is bigger (post pics)
-A want some Altezza'a
-Car actually took off today. Thanks to my new wing.
VW Bug forum
- Save the Earth concert was a success (pics)
Yugo Forum
- How to turn your Yugo into a childrens gym (DIY+pics)
- Where the best place to start a fire in this thing?
Lamborghini forum
-Wind noise around 210MPH
SUV forum
- Are the Gas prices going down any time soon?
Lexus forums
- Remember that car company that made the Legend? What happened to them?
Pontiac Fiero forum
- Just bought a new flame proofed suit (pics)
Legend forum
- eye candy (pics)
BMW 745 -750 forum
- How do a get a coffee stain out of my carpet?
Caddilac forum
- How do a get Yak out of my fur seats?
Buick Forum
- Is Medicare and Medicaid right for me?
Delorean forum
- Just got back from the future and blew a head gasket. Please help. I'm from 1985
Crown Victoria forum
- How come people don't never pass me on the highway?
Honda Accord forum
- Mom is giving me the car. Do anyone have any altezza'a for sale?
Toyota Echo forum
- Does our cars use AAA or AA batteries?
Ferrari forums
- Just bought a boat. Need suggestions about a quick round business trip to Columbia + should a bring the biatch along for the ride?
Saturn forums
- (In for sale/wanted) Roman candle landed on my fender. Melted and need to replace.
Bugati
- Wife (now ex-wife) got in car with shoes on. How to remove blood stains out of carpet?
McLarean F1 forum
-Some punk kid in a Stealth Fighter tried to race me.
Hummer forum
-Had a fender bender today 24 hurt, 10 killed. Is black touchup paint available through the dealer?
Fiat forum
(first ever post)
-Hello? Am I the only member?
(Last ever post)
-Hello? Am I still the only member?
Mitsubishi forum
-How to remove training wheels (DIY)
Nissan (Silvias) forums
- Just finished my USDM 240 conversion! (Pics)
Subaru WRX forum
- Got pulled over for drifting in New York City. I hate cops
- Dropped the clutch at 6k, whats wrong with my transmission
Supra forum
(For sale/wanted)- 2 turbos isn't enough. I need Nawwws
Chevy Trucks forum
- It aint going into fifth! What in tarnations is wrong? Hell, I aint got all daY! Com'on niow ya'll shoot me a holler. Gotta git those darn cows rounded up.
I found this on another car forum and thought id share.
Mercedes forum
-My wife is divorceing me and trying to take the house. How do I kill her and keep my Doctors license?
Bentley Forums
- I used the ash tray today How do I replace it?
Camaro/Firebird Forums
- My girl slept with my brother and my wife. How can I kill em? I have a record and I ain't going back.
Mustang forums
-Some punk kid in a civic tried to race me.
Monte Carlo forums
-Why do I keep getting pulled over, it aint stolen yo.
Civic forums
-Some punk kid in a Mustang tried to race me
-Just added some more decals (5hp gain)
-whose tailpipe is bigger (post pics)
-A want some Altezza'a
-Car actually took off today. Thanks to my new wing.
VW Bug forum
- Save the Earth concert was a success (pics)
Yugo Forum
- How to turn your Yugo into a childrens gym (DIY+pics)
- Where the best place to start a fire in this thing?
Lamborghini forum
-Wind noise around 210MPH
SUV forum
- Are the Gas prices going down any time soon?
Lexus forums
- Remember that car company that made the Legend? What happened to them?
Pontiac Fiero forum
- Just bought a new flame proofed suit (pics)
Legend forum
- eye candy (pics)
BMW 745 -750 forum
- How do a get a coffee stain out of my carpet?
Caddilac forum
- How do a get Yak out of my fur seats?
Buick Forum
- Is Medicare and Medicaid right for me?
Delorean forum
- Just got back from the future and blew a head gasket. Please help. I'm from 1985
Crown Victoria forum
- How come people don't never pass me on the highway?
Honda Accord forum
- Mom is giving me the car. Do anyone have any altezza'a for sale?
Toyota Echo forum
- Does our cars use AAA or AA batteries?
Ferrari forums
- Just bought a boat. Need suggestions about a quick round business trip to Columbia + should a bring the biatch along for the ride?
Saturn forums
- (In for sale/wanted) Roman candle landed on my fender. Melted and need to replace.
Bugati
- Wife (now ex-wife) got in car with shoes on. How to remove blood stains out of carpet?
McLarean F1 forum
-Some punk kid in a Stealth Fighter tried to race me.
Hummer forum
-Had a fender bender today 24 hurt, 10 killed. Is black touchup paint available through the dealer?
Fiat forum
(first ever post)
-Hello? Am I the only member?
(Last ever post)
-Hello? Am I still the only member?
Mitsubishi forum
-How to remove training wheels (DIY)
Nissan (Silvias) forums
- Just finished my USDM 240 conversion! (Pics)
Subaru WRX forum
- Got pulled over for drifting in New York City. I hate cops
- Dropped the clutch at 6k, whats wrong with my transmission
Supra forum
(For sale/wanted)- 2 turbos isn't enough. I need Nawwws
Chevy Trucks forum
- It aint going into fifth! What in tarnations is wrong? Hell, I aint got all daY! Com'on niow ya'll shoot me a holler. Gotta git those darn cows rounded up.
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 53,292
Likes: 789
From: Owings Mills, MD
I borrowed my wife's Geo Metro last night. One liter of raw power, 3 cylinders of asphalt-tearing terror on thirteen-inch rims. It's stock, alright, nothing done to it, but it pushes the barely 2000 pounds of metro around with AUTHORITY. I'm always catching mopeds and 18-wheelers by surprise...
I was headed back from Baskin Robbins with my manly triple-latte cappuccino blast ("No Cinnamon, ma'am, I take it BLACK"), when I stopped at a streetlight. As the Metro throbbed its throaty idle around me, I sipped my bold beverage and wiped the white froth my stiff upper lip. I was minding my own business, but then I heard a rev from the next lane. I turned, made eye contact, then let my eyes trace over the competition. Ford Festiva -- a late model, could be trouble. Low profile tires, curb feelers, and schoolbus-yellow paint. Yep, a hot rod, for sure.
The howl of his motor snapped my reverie, and I looked back into the driver's eyes, nodded, then blipped my own throttle. As I tugged on my driving gloves and slipped on my sunglasses (gotta look cool to be fast, and I am *damn* cool, hence...), the night was split with the sound of seven screaming cylinders...
Then the light turned... I almost had him out of the hole, my three pounding cylinders thrusting me at least a millimeter back into my seat, as smoke pouring from my front right tire... my unlimited slip differential was letting me down! I saw in the corner of my eyes, a yellow snout gaining, and I heard the roar of his four cylinders. He slung by me, right front wheel juddering against the pavement, and he flashed me a smile as his .7 extra liters of motor stretched its legs. I kept my foot gamely in it, though, waiting for the CHECK ENGINE light to blink on in the one-gauge (no tachometer here!) instrument panel. I saw a glimpse of chrome under his bumper, and knew the ugly truth... He was running a custom exhaust -- probably a 2-into-1 dual exhaust...maybe event cutouts! Damn his hot-rod soul! The old lady passing us on the crosswalk cast a dirty look in our boy-racer direction...
Yet still I persisted, with my three pumping pistons singing a heady high-pitched song, wound fully out. Though only a few handfuls of seconds had passed, we were nearing the crosswalk at the other side of the intersection, and I heard the note of his engine change as he made his shift to second, and I saw his grin in his rearview mirror fade as he missed the shift! I rocketed by, shifting, and nursed the clutch gently in to keep from bogging, keeping my motor spinning hot and pulling me ahead, now trailing a cloud of stinking clutch smoke. Not ready to give up so easily, he left his foot in it, revving, and I heard one wheel *almost* chirp as he finally found second and dropped the clutch. We careened over the crosswalk, now going at least 15 miles per hour. A bicyclist passed us, but intent on the race as we were, neither of us batted an eye.
He pulled slowly abreast of me, and neck and neck, we made the shift to third, the scream of motors deafening all pedestrians within a five foot circle. He nosed ahead as we passed 30 miles an hour, then eased in front of me, taunting, as we shifted into fourth. I was staring up the dual 6" chrome tips of his exhaust, snarling, my cappuccino forgotten, as he lifted a little to take the next corner.
I saw my opportunity, and counting on the innate agility of my trusty steed, I pulled wide into the number two lane and kept my foot buried in carpet. Slowly, I inched around him, feeling my Metro roll slowly to the left as I came abreast in the midst of this gradual sweeping turn. I felt the Geo ease onto its suspension stops, and felt the right rear wheel slowly leave the ground - no matter, though, because my drive wheels, up front, were pulling me through the corner, and around the Festiva ...
The Ford driver beat his wheel in rage as my wife's car eased past him on the outside, my P165/54R13's screaming in protest, as we raced to the next light. We coasted down, neck-and neck, to the red light. I tightened my driving gloves, ready for another round, when this WIMP in the next car meekly flipped his turn signal and made a right. Chevy (Suzuki) superiority reigns!!!
I drove off sipping my masculine drink, awash in my sheer virility, looking for other unwitting targets.... Perhaps a Yugo, or maybe even a Volkswagon Van!
I was headed back from Baskin Robbins with my manly triple-latte cappuccino blast ("No Cinnamon, ma'am, I take it BLACK"), when I stopped at a streetlight. As the Metro throbbed its throaty idle around me, I sipped my bold beverage and wiped the white froth my stiff upper lip. I was minding my own business, but then I heard a rev from the next lane. I turned, made eye contact, then let my eyes trace over the competition. Ford Festiva -- a late model, could be trouble. Low profile tires, curb feelers, and schoolbus-yellow paint. Yep, a hot rod, for sure.
The howl of his motor snapped my reverie, and I looked back into the driver's eyes, nodded, then blipped my own throttle. As I tugged on my driving gloves and slipped on my sunglasses (gotta look cool to be fast, and I am *damn* cool, hence...), the night was split with the sound of seven screaming cylinders...
Then the light turned... I almost had him out of the hole, my three pounding cylinders thrusting me at least a millimeter back into my seat, as smoke pouring from my front right tire... my unlimited slip differential was letting me down! I saw in the corner of my eyes, a yellow snout gaining, and I heard the roar of his four cylinders. He slung by me, right front wheel juddering against the pavement, and he flashed me a smile as his .7 extra liters of motor stretched its legs. I kept my foot gamely in it, though, waiting for the CHECK ENGINE light to blink on in the one-gauge (no tachometer here!) instrument panel. I saw a glimpse of chrome under his bumper, and knew the ugly truth... He was running a custom exhaust -- probably a 2-into-1 dual exhaust...maybe event cutouts! Damn his hot-rod soul! The old lady passing us on the crosswalk cast a dirty look in our boy-racer direction...
Yet still I persisted, with my three pumping pistons singing a heady high-pitched song, wound fully out. Though only a few handfuls of seconds had passed, we were nearing the crosswalk at the other side of the intersection, and I heard the note of his engine change as he made his shift to second, and I saw his grin in his rearview mirror fade as he missed the shift! I rocketed by, shifting, and nursed the clutch gently in to keep from bogging, keeping my motor spinning hot and pulling me ahead, now trailing a cloud of stinking clutch smoke. Not ready to give up so easily, he left his foot in it, revving, and I heard one wheel *almost* chirp as he finally found second and dropped the clutch. We careened over the crosswalk, now going at least 15 miles per hour. A bicyclist passed us, but intent on the race as we were, neither of us batted an eye.
He pulled slowly abreast of me, and neck and neck, we made the shift to third, the scream of motors deafening all pedestrians within a five foot circle. He nosed ahead as we passed 30 miles an hour, then eased in front of me, taunting, as we shifted into fourth. I was staring up the dual 6" chrome tips of his exhaust, snarling, my cappuccino forgotten, as he lifted a little to take the next corner.
I saw my opportunity, and counting on the innate agility of my trusty steed, I pulled wide into the number two lane and kept my foot buried in carpet. Slowly, I inched around him, feeling my Metro roll slowly to the left as I came abreast in the midst of this gradual sweeping turn. I felt the Geo ease onto its suspension stops, and felt the right rear wheel slowly leave the ground - no matter, though, because my drive wheels, up front, were pulling me through the corner, and around the Festiva ...
The Ford driver beat his wheel in rage as my wife's car eased past him on the outside, my P165/54R13's screaming in protest, as we raced to the next light. We coasted down, neck-and neck, to the red light. I tightened my driving gloves, ready for another round, when this WIMP in the next car meekly flipped his turn signal and made a right. Chevy (Suzuki) superiority reigns!!!
I drove off sipping my masculine drink, awash in my sheer virility, looking for other unwitting targets.... Perhaps a Yugo, or maybe even a Volkswagon Van!
