not4s4l3

Personal opinion, please don't get offended but..

I think she is taking advantage of you and your good heart; the only question is intentionally or unintentionally?
First of all, before jumping to any further conclusions it is really important to know WHEN DID YOU FOUND OUT?

Did she hide this from you and you found out all of a sudden that she was 5k deep or you knew when she first started accumulating debt?
If the latter, you helped her to dig this hole and you will help her to dig deeper in the future.
If you just found out, still you should have worked something together; and not just you saving the day without her having to struggle and live the
consequences of her actions.

If you been 'helping' her to 'survive' I wouldn't say that you did anything wrong. But from what I read you are helping her
satisfy other than survival needs (like having a horse for example is not required to make ends meet) which in my eyes means that
she is using you to get out of trouble (careful I'm not saying essentially that she is doing this deliberately or that she doesn't like/fancy/love you but..)

The fact that you now live together will reveal each other's nasty habits and cruel everyday reality. There would be a lot of friction which will test the relationship and this is good. Friendly advice:
TAKE FULL CONTROL of her finances in a dictatorial way (so you make sure she won't accumulate more) and set out a plan of how she will repay you in full:
(as long as you mentioned that she is eager to repay):
-Number of months
-Amount per month

Dead simple really.

You mentioned she can put aside $400 a month. So it should take no more than a year and 2 months in total for her to repay you.
From the love doctor's point of view , if you see in her TRUE INTENTION of wanting to pay back I'll stick with her
and give her some time. Everyone deserves a second chance.

If she fails in 2 years maximum to repay the debt I'll seriously start wondering about her feelings mate..

Best of luck!

Cheers!

Super Nintendo Chalmers

If you're in debt the last thing you need is a horse. My cousin has one and the monthy bill to board and feed that thing is INSANE. It's been over a year now, I'm curious to see how the OP's situation turned out.

hirev

Leting her move in rent free is pretty good $$ wise already. I would let her stay with her debt and choose whether or not she wants to continue with the horse thing for now, I mean $150 MADE a week will probably pay for the horse?

In this way if she cuts you loose you are not out much. Its never 100% in terms of a partnership, someone always does more or has more. Its just is it equitible? Is the relationship worth the extra expense on your part?

Being together for 5 years, what is your goal with this?
Just asking?

tcjensen

^ +1 Mixing finances with someone you're not married to is stupid. Lending to or borrowing from someone you are in a relationship with is stupid. So marry her if you love her, want to stay her, and want to commit to being the one to try to fix all her life problem .... or continue the relationship with independent finances.

windhund116

Horses can be one of the most $$$$ hobbies. I know several folks that had to file bankruptcy --- that had horse(s) and the large property needed to raise them.

I hope the OP can work things out. Money issues are prolly the number one problem, in keeping relationships together. They never go away.
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DARK_S2000

I would not pay her debt. What if you pay for her then she just dumps you?? Then you would be out 5500 that could have went to a Turbo/Supercharger set up.. Don't be that guy lol.

mongomery1234

This answer wins in my book. Look at it like this, pair her debt? Buy an OEM hard top.. No brainer in my opinion. S2K parts>other's debt. In the end its really not your place at all to make up for someone else's mistakes relationship or not. Not going to learn if you get bailed out. Myself I have a decent amount of debt and making the payments every month sure make it seem like a good idea not to do it again. Live and learn.

bluemetals2k

I know you guys have bumped this thread a few times recently. Her mother wound up bailing her out of the debt. Im not exactly thrilled about that because I believe you should take responsibility for your own life and mistakes. But at least I didnt have to pay for it

bluemetals2k

And I did by an Supercharger instead haha!

bluemetals2k

I would want to marry her, however she wants kids. And I am firmly against that before when we met, now while were together, and anytime in the future! I,mean come on guys how am I suppose to get my racing career off the ground with kids tieing me down?!? LOL