Health and Safety in the workplace
08-27-2009, 02:43 AM
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Health and Safety in the workplace
Ok so I came into work this morning armed with a couple of bagels right.... 
I also had some Boursin to paste them with
I thought it was going to be fairly simple to cut it in half, toast it, spread my cheese and eat it. I couldn't have been more wrong. 
Before I get to the kitchen I was stopped by a female dyke version of Hitler. I was told that it was against H&S leg. to "enter the kitchen with the intent of using the toaster" (exact words I kid you not!). I laughed and asked if she was joking, but she put her hand across the door, to stop me from entering and told me those were the rules. Hahaha!
She then told me that only "Members of the Board" were allowed to use the toaster, because they were the only people "trained" to use it. Are you f*$%ing kidding me!!!
Sooooo me being a cheeky boy, asked if she could call a Board Member down to the kitchen, so they could toast my bagel for me. I also asked who i needed to speak to get training on how to use the toaster so I could avoid this unnecessary bull$%*t in future.
Obviously it wasn't possible to source a Board Member to toast my bagel, so I had to sign a document, taking full responsibility for my actions when entering the kitchen and a separate document to use the toaster. Can you believe this!?!?!?
When I went to use a knife with an edge on it, by the way - I'm being monitored during this entire process, I was told not to use a sharp knife as I may injure myself and subsequently rinse the company for compensation, as the document I signed didn't cover me for using the sharp knife.
Great start to the day
I also had some Boursin to paste them with
I thought it was going to be fairly simple to cut it in half, toast it, spread my cheese and eat it. I couldn't have been more wrong. Before I get to the kitchen I was stopped by a female dyke version of Hitler. I was told that it was against H&S leg. to "enter the kitchen with the intent of using the toaster" (exact words I kid you not!). I laughed and asked if she was joking, but she put her hand across the door, to stop me from entering and told me those were the rules. Hahaha!
She then told me that only "Members of the Board" were allowed to use the toaster, because they were the only people "trained" to use it. Are you f*$%ing kidding me!!!
Sooooo me being a cheeky boy, asked if she could call a Board Member down to the kitchen, so they could toast my bagel for me. I also asked who i needed to speak to get training on how to use the toaster so I could avoid this unnecessary bull$%*t in future.
Obviously it wasn't possible to source a Board Member to toast my bagel, so I had to sign a document, taking full responsibility for my actions when entering the kitchen and a separate document to use the toaster. Can you believe this!?!?!?
When I went to use a knife with an edge on it, by the way - I'm being monitored during this entire process, I was told not to use a sharp knife as I may injure myself and subsequently rinse the company for compensation, as the document I signed didn't cover me for using the sharp knife.
Great start to the day
08-27-2009, 04:49 AM
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We have a lot of stuff in cryogenic storage - was advised by a H&S rep that I needed assistance to "look at alternative ways of achieving cryogenic storage without the use of dangerous liquids which could be a fire hazard and a risk to workers"
I did ask him if he knew WTF cryogenic storage was, pointed out LN2 does not support burning and asked what his credentials were for the job he was in, he ran away at that point ....
Was "Kitchen Hitler" fully trained and did they show you the risk assessment? You could argue that rpeventing people making lunch would lead to possible exhaustion and lack of productivity, resulting in crashes after work and so was a bigger risk!
I did ask him if he knew WTF cryogenic storage was, pointed out LN2 does not support burning and asked what his credentials were for the job he was in, he ran away at that point ....
Was "Kitchen Hitler" fully trained and did they show you the risk assessment? You could argue that rpeventing people making lunch would lead to possible exhaustion and lack of productivity, resulting in crashes after work and so was a bigger risk!
08-27-2009, 05:14 AM
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Originally Posted by LadyB,Aug 27 2009, 04:49 AM
We have a lot of stuff in cryogenic storage - was advised by a H&S rep that I needed assistance to "look at alternative ways of achieving cryogenic storage without the use of dangerous liquids which could be a fire hazard and a risk to workers"
I did ask him if he knew WTF cryogenic storage was, pointed out LN2 does not support burning and asked what his credentials were for the job he was in, he ran away at that point ....
Was "Kitchen Hitler" fully trained and did they show you the risk assessment? You could argue that rpeventing people making lunch would lead to possible exhaustion and lack of productivity, resulting in crashes after work and so was a bigger risk!
I did ask him if he knew WTF cryogenic storage was, pointed out LN2 does not support burning and asked what his credentials were for the job he was in, he ran away at that point ....
Was "Kitchen Hitler" fully trained and did they show you the risk assessment? You could argue that rpeventing people making lunch would lead to possible exhaustion and lack of productivity, resulting in crashes after work and so was a bigger risk!
Well I just found out that this woman has a nick name and it's actually "Hitler with t*ts"
She isn't qualified to do a goddamn thing!Well when I asked to see the legislation/risk assessment, she um'd and ah'd and told me she wouldn't be able to find it etc etc.
She offered to toast my bagel for me and I responded by asking her to show me her "H&S Food Hygiene Cert" which allowed her to cook for the employees (I was purely taking the pi$$ at that point).
I suggested that , if by some unfortunate circumstance, I got food poisoning and she made my bagel, I'd hold her personally responsible. That's when I signed the disclaimer
Possibly the most ridiculous situation I've faced in a while
08-27-2009, 06:21 AM
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Originally Posted by MarkB,Aug 27 2009, 06:06 AM
If the directors of your company can find the time to be trained in toaster safety, I'd suggest they don't have enough to do.
Oh how I yearn to be back in the Private Sector. My days at THALES are long gone
I'll give you a clue Quazi Auto.............finish the sentence. I completely concur by the way. Our Directors here are sh*te! "Worthless" wouldn't be a strong enough word!
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08-27-2009, 11:34 AM
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Originally Posted by Bundle of Mayhem,Aug 27 2009, 10:52 AM
Unbelievable!
Go to her tomorrow and ask for a Hot Works Permit
Go to her tomorrow and ask for a Hot Works Permit
