As Benjamin Franklin once said, "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." It was true 200 years ago and it's still true today. Here's more proof of Wise Old Ben's brilliant proclamation...




Beer always comes in multiples of six.
Beer doesn't whine, it bubbles.
Beer doesn't make you go shopping.
Beer doesn't blow you off.
Beer doesn't care if you have no culture or manners.
When your beer goes flat, you toss it out.
A beer gets lighter the longer you hold it.
You don't need a license to live with a beer.
You can shoot a beer.
Beer doesn't demand equality.
A beer doesn't think DOS is pronounced "dose".
No matter what the package, a beer still looks good.
Beer never complains when you take it somewhere.
When your interrupted by a beer it's for a good reason.
Beer never changes its mind.
A beer doesn't change its mind after you've taken off its top.
Beer won't run off with your credit cards.
A beer doesn't care if you keep a bunch of other beers around.
Beer doesn't tease you or play hard to get.
Beer is happy to ride in the trunk of your car.
Beer doesn't need to go to the 'powder room' with other beers.
Beer doesn't get cramps.
A beer is always ready to leave on time.
Beer won't complain about your choice of vacation - it goes along happily.
Beer doesn't tell you to mow the grass.
Beer doesn't use up your toilet paper.
A beer will not call you a sexist pig if you say "doberman" instead of "doberperson".
Beer always listens and never argues.
Beer doesn't care if you go to sleep right after you've had it.
Beer doesn't pout or play games.
A beer will not insist that those odious Michelin commercials with the babies are "cute".
A beer won't raise a fuss about a little thing like leaving the toilet seat up.
Beer doesn't live with its mother.
You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty.
Beer doesn't look you up in a month.
A beer won't make you pick up some tampons when you go to the grocery store.
Beer doesn't worry about waking the kids.
Beer doesn't mind seeing Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson flicks.
A beer won't accuse you of lying when you say you read Penthouse "just for the articles". (You are lying, but the beer won't accuse you of it.)
Beer doesn't have a mother.
A beer won't tell you its pregnant for fun.
Beer doesn't have morals.
Beer labels don't go out of style every year.
It's okay to leave a party with a different beer than the one you bought.
You don't have to wine and dine a beer.
When your beer is gone, you just pop another.
Beer doesn't have a lawyer.
You can put all your old beers together in one room and they won't fight.
A beer doesn't think baseball is stupid simply because the guys spit.
Beer doesn't go crazy once a month.
A beer won't accuse you of being a sexist pig if you say "Gene Hackman" instead of "Gene Hackperson".
Beer doesn't mind football season.
A beer does not come with inlaws.
A beer is more likely to know how to spell "carburetor" than a woman.
You rarely (if ever) find beer labels on the shower curtain rod.
Beers don't want a lasting relationship.
Beer doesn't demand legality.
Beer doesn't complain about the way you drive.
A beer won't make you go to church.
Beer doesn't bitch, yell, or cry.
You can try dark beers and foreign beers without upsetting your parents.
When beer goes flat you toss it out.
A beer will never buy a car with automatic transmission.
Beer doesn't worry about someone walking in.
Beer looks the same in the morning.
A beer won't get upset if you come home with beer on your breath.
Beer doesn't mind getting dirty.
A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
After you have a beer, you're committed to nothing other than dumping the empty bottle.
Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car.
You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty.
Beer NEVER says no.
If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.
A beer looks as good in the morning as it did when the bar closed.
A beer never fishes for compliments.
Beer doesn't need much closet space.
Beer labels come off without a fight.
You don't have to drive a beer home in the morning.
After you've put your lips to a beer, it doesn't say, 'What are you doing?'
A beer will never make you go to a Swedish movie.
A beer won't claim that the Three Stooges are shitheads.
You can have a beer in public.
Beer won't drive you to drink.
Beer never asks you to change the station.
A beer will never make you turn off "Fists of Fury Theater" on channel 5 on Saturday afternoons.
A beer won't smoke in your car.
Beer is never late.
If you mention a "three-hundred-fifty cubic-inch V8" around a beer, it won't think you're talking about an enormous can of vegetable juice.
Beer never has a headache.
A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer.
A beer won't get a job as a DJ and play 5 straight hours of lesbian folk music on your favorite radio station.
Beer doesn't complain about insensitivity.
A beer will wait in the car while you go and play football.
A beer won't fill up your car with cheesy 85-octane gas with the excuse: "But I saved a quarter!"
Beer doesn't care how much you earn.
After you have a beer, the bottle is still worth a dime.
You never have to promise to respect a beer in the morning.
A beer won't worry that you'll go to jail if you videotape a Giants game without the expressed, written consent of the National Football League.
The only thing a beer tells you is when its time to go to the bathroom.
Beer contains no Estrogen.
HANGOVERS go away.

Can I hear and "Amen!"


hehe

 

amen!!

 

I don't know about the first one...

 

Why didn't you just say beer is SOMETIMES better than a women...because that's what it sounds like to me.

 

You said it not any of us

 

Yeah.

 

Ashes to ashes'
dust to dust,
If it wasn't for women,
your pickle would rust.

 

*GRUB GRUB GRUB*

:BLURRRRRRRRRRRRRR:

i'm drunk and you're still ugly...

so what good does beer do?