We have a psuedo friend Bill (grumpy old guy who has no relatives, so my wife and i are in charge) who my wife sort of took care of back as far as 20 years ago. and we both do right now.. he has emphizima (spelling), colon cancer, cancer in the lungs and one of those awefull colostomy bags.

Lucky me got to carry him to my car to take him to the hospital....yucky bones were a creaking.

He now weighs 93lbs and is 5'7"... in total pain all the time, his feet are swollen, cannot walk, bed sores, etc....... he is in a nursing home....

they just told me that they may try to operate to add a feeding tube to help his bed sores, and weight.....

Mean part ---- this guy has contributed nothing but misery for anyone who has been around him (he pulled a loaded gun on a nice couple who lived above him...put in jail for that)..screams and yells at anyone who is near him (except me and my wife).. is it worth all of this to keep him alive? all the $$$, all the work and he is still going to contribute nothing.......plus the pain he is in has to be just awefull.....

what do you want done if Bill was you?

his most recent hospital bill was like $30,000 and that is just one of many!

Scot

 

Put me down

 

i think i would want to be in the same boat.... of course bill had the gun taken away after pointing at people (LOADED), soooooo... I am not even sure what the hell he is to do!

GAWD to nursing homes smell like piss and shit!!!! YUCK

Scot

 

I don't want to preach here Scott, but please have some compassion. You and your wife should feel blessed that he allows you in his life. A person in your position cand grow as a human being by helping him however you can. There must be a reason why he is in your life. My mom had to go to a nursing home and I just had to do my best to block out a lot of the things that went on there. Bill didn't want to burden you in any way.

 

John,

i joke around a bit, but obviously i have some compassion for the guy or i wouldn't have picked up his bony little ass and carried it to my car.

It just seems like hell for him and financial hell for whomever pays for all of this. The nursing home is just filled with poor old folks who really don't know what is going on and it is very sad to see -plus it smells like shit and piss

I will joke about everything, but i think in this situation some folks would rather not be agonizing with every breath (like bill is)

Scot "the uncompassionate jerk"

 

Keeping old people alive past their time is the greatest theft of intergenerational wealth that there has ever been. We're basically keeping shells of people alive to their personal suffering so that they can be billed for. It's shameful. Many of these people live lives of abject misery. They also lose all of the savings they'd planned to pass along to loved ones.

I hope that no one will make the decision to keep me alive beyond the time when I have a life. The fact that we can keep people alive beyond the utility of their bodies and minds doesn't mean we should.

 

Well, holy shit Jim.... I think for one time (ya only 1) we actually agree on something.

Luckily Bill is not a relative of mine or i may see things in a different way, but it is total pain, lots of $ and he will never be able to do anything other than lie (things lay, people lie) in a bed. At this point he really cannot even read a book or do a crossword puzzle, although his mind is still there when you speak to him.

I have a theory.... he is such a miserable bastard (he really is) that he will live forever.

Well, I will still stop and see him ever couple of days, but it sure doesn't look like too much fun for anyone involved!

Scot

 

My grandmother who passed away last year at the age of 86 suffered through alzheimeirs (sp?) and skin cancer in her latter years. On good days she was still in constant pain. When I use to visit her and she would actually be in a semi-sensible mental state she kept asking to be put to death. She would say she enjoyed her life, left a good family behind and loved everything. Sometimes it's just time to go. I myself would hate to be a burden on anyone in my latter years.

 

Well... it has been 3 days since i started this thread, and Bill passed away this morning in his sleep. He was in horrible pain and the medicine wasn't strong enough... He pretty much starved himself to death by not drinking or eating over the past 2 weeks.

I don't think the next few days of planning funerals and cleaning out his stuff will be too so great either.


Scot

 

As weird as it may sound I think you are going to miss the guy....