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For all you cat lovers

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Old Aug 29, 2001 | 03:30 PM
  #1  
lvs2k's Avatar
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From: Bedford
Default For all you cat lovers

Dear Cat Owner:
Instructions For How To Wash The Cat:



1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both
lids up.

3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the
bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids

(You may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape.) CAUTION:
Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws
will be reaching out for anything they can find. The cat will
self-agitate and make ample suds.
Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually
enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "powerwash" and
"rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.

6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are
no people between the toilet and the outside door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both
lids.

8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside
where he will dry himself.

Sincerely,

The Dog
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Old Aug 29, 2001 | 03:50 PM
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From: Austin
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Aint that the truth?


Kirk
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Old Aug 29, 2001 | 03:50 PM
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From: Menlo Park, CA 4ever a
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WORD
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Old Aug 29, 2001 | 03:57 PM
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Why do people hate cats?

My last cat lived to 20 years, kept the lawn free of moles and was always happy to see me.
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Old Aug 29, 2001 | 04:13 PM
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The shed, they stink, they take dumps and piss in a box and they don't get me the paper or my slippers.
Cats suck!!!!!!!
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Old Aug 29, 2001 | 04:24 PM
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Originally posted by ElTianti
Why do people hate cats?

My last cat lived to 20 years, kept the lawn free of moles and was always happy to see me.
My god, Eltianti has a soft side. Was that before or after you shot it? (J/K)
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Old Aug 29, 2001 | 04:28 PM
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Originally posted by mjcohen
The shed, they stink, they take dumps and piss in a box and they don't get me the paper or my slippers.
Cats suck!!!!!!!
Cats stink? Have you ever had a dog? Cat's keep themselves clean, dogs keep themselves dirty (if they get a chance).

They don't need to use a box unless you deprive them of a place to bury it neatly (have you ever seen a dog do that - when was the last time you stepped in cat shit when you were out for a walk?).
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Old Aug 29, 2001 | 04:32 PM
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From: eurostar
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by naishou
[B]

My god, Eltianti has a soft side.
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Old Aug 29, 2001 | 04:33 PM
  #9  
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From: eurostar
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I forgot the famous quote from Jean Cocteau :
"the difference between cats and dogs is that you'll never see a Police cat"
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Old Aug 29, 2001 | 05:10 PM
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From: FCUK
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I love cats too....... but I couldn't eat a whole one!!
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