Three men are in a forest, a blonde, a japanese, and a hawaiian.
All three are captured by a tribe. The leader says " All of you were trespassing on my land, and for that you must die. But out of respect, you get to choose your way of death!"
The japanese says " I shall die by the way of the ancient samurai sword." the leader says "very well." and hands him a sword. He then kills himself with the ancient sword. The hawaiian then says " I would like to be sacrificed and thrown in to the volcano." So the tribe throws him into the volcano and he bursts into flames. Then the blonde says that he would like to die from the AIDS virus, so the tribe injects the virus through a needle. The blonde starts to laugh hysterically. The entire tribe is confused, so the leader asks why is he laughing since he will die from AIDS. The blonde then replys
"I tricked all of you, little that you know....I am wearing a condomn!"

 

A blonde drives through a hailstorm. Her car, pelted with golf ball sized hailstones, is covered with dents. She goes to a body shop and the owner decides to have some fun with her. "You want to save some money? Go home, let your car sit for an hour, then blow as long and as hard as you can into the tail pipe. The dents will all pop out, good as new. She did. As she's kneeling in the street, blowing into the tailpipe, a friend, also a blonde, drives by. "What are you doing?" The first blonde explains what she is doing and the second blonde says "Well, duh, you dummy, you're supposed to roll up the windows first."

 

My favorite blond joke is unfit for public consumption. These aren't much better, but here goes...



What do you call a red head standing between a blonde and a brunette...a translator.

What does a blonde do to turn on the light after having sex...open the car door.

What did the blonde say after having sex...are you all on the football team?

What do you call it when you blow into a blondes ear...a refill.

How can you tell when a blonde has been using a computer...there's white-out on the screen.

 

What do you call a smart Blonde?
























Labrador

 

Q: Why don't blonde women pass the driving test the 1st time?

A: Because whenever the car stops, they hop in the back seat.

 

Q: Why is a blond like a turtle?
A: They both get ****ed up when they're on their back.

 

Q: How do you know a blonde has been in your refrigerator?
A: There's lipstick all over the cucumbers.

 

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
A: You don't let your friends borrow your toothbrush.

 

How can you spot a confused blonde in a busy office?




She has a tampax behind her ear and can't find her ink pen!!!!!

 

What do you get if you turn a blonde upside down?

A brunette with bad breath.



Why don't blondes use vibrators?

Cause they'd chip their teeth.