Bad Jokes
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From: Spank me baby
Two guys leave a bar and walk down the street. They pass an alley and look down it. At the end of the alley there is a dog licking his manhood. One guy goes to the other " wow I wish I could do that ". The other guy looks at the dog then at him and says " Don't you think you should pet him first"
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From: Ventura, California, USA
A little kid sees 2 dogs procreating and asks his dad what they are doing. His dad tells him,"They're making puppies." A couple of days later he walks in on his parents making love. He asks what they are doing. His dad says,"Making a baby." The child replies,"Turn her over, I want puppies."
After 25 years of working a Jewish Moil (sic) takes his foreskins to a leather maker to see what he can do with them. The leather maker takes the foreskins and a week later gives the Moil a wallet. The Moil is surprised,"I gave you 25 years worth of foreskins and all you can make is a wallet?!" The leathersmith replies,"Yeah, but if your rub it it becomes a suitcase."
After 25 years of working a Jewish Moil (sic) takes his foreskins to a leather maker to see what he can do with them. The leather maker takes the foreskins and a week later gives the Moil a wallet. The Moil is surprised,"I gave you 25 years worth of foreskins and all you can make is a wallet?!" The leathersmith replies,"Yeah, but if your rub it it becomes a suitcase."
Joined: Oct 2000
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From: Montreal
A young hotshot gets a job with the IRS. His first assignment is to audit an old rabbi. He thinks he'll have a little fun with him, so he says, "Rabbi, what do you do with the drippings from the candles?"
The rabbi says, "We send them to the candle factory, and every once in a while they send us a free candle."
The kid says, "And what do you do with the crumbs from your table?"
The rabbi says, "We send them to the matzoh ball factory, and every once in a while they send us a free box of matzoh balls."
The kid says, "And what do you do with the foreskins from your circumcisions?"
The rabbi says, "We send them to the IRS, and every once in a while they send us a little prick like you."
The rabbi says, "We send them to the candle factory, and every once in a while they send us a free candle."
The kid says, "And what do you do with the crumbs from your table?"
The rabbi says, "We send them to the matzoh ball factory, and every once in a while they send us a free box of matzoh balls."
The kid says, "And what do you do with the foreskins from your circumcisions?"
The rabbi says, "We send them to the IRS, and every once in a while they send us a little prick like you."
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From: Richmond, VA
Three guys are on a deserted island for quite some time. All three stumble upon a lamp. One of them rubs it a genie comes out.
Genie: "See that cliff over there. Jump off the cliff and yell a wish and it will be granted."
Guy #1: Gets a good head start and jumps off the cliff and yells "Plane!"--turns into a plane and gets of the island.
Guy #2: Gets a good head start and jumps off the cliff and yells "Boat!"--turns into a boat and sails aways.
Guy #3: Gets a good head start, trips on a rock right before the cliff and yells "Oh Sh!t"--turns into a turd and floats away.
Genie: "See that cliff over there. Jump off the cliff and yell a wish and it will be granted."
Guy #1: Gets a good head start and jumps off the cliff and yells "Plane!"--turns into a plane and gets of the island.
Guy #2: Gets a good head start and jumps off the cliff and yells "Boat!"--turns into a boat and sails aways.
Guy #3: Gets a good head start, trips on a rock right before the cliff and yells "Oh Sh!t"--turns into a turd and floats away.
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