I had been seeing a counselor at sweetser for quite some time because I could not sleep, I'd constantly toss and turn with racing thoughts of whatever so after some review I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder with Bi-Polar tendancies... it had gone away for a while but now for some reason I feel it is deeper than that and ever since I got home from AIT and started drilling with the unit I have not been able to sleep to save my life, I've had thoughts of death and very bad dreams that I can't shake. I don't know what it is but I just feel the heaviest anxiety, enough that I think about it more than actually accomplishing my job and or the mission and I don't think this is good. My heart nor mind are with me in the armed forces and I feel it is best that I get out before I do more harm then good, is this grounds for a discharge? Seemingly so cases like these I'd assume would require alot of time to actually process but I am no longer able to pursue my goals in the Army. What do I do?

 

Get out. If your mind/heart arent with you, you are asking for trouble. It will effect your desicision making, and could put you, and other soldiers at risk. There is no shame in it.

 

I can't speak to whether this is grounds for discharge or not, but it sounds like you need some time away. You've shown great insight to question whether being in the army right now is the best place for you. I assume you are younger and therefore will have plenty of time to find your career path.

I know of several people who experience both OCD and bipolar - these are things that can be managed and overcome. It may not be easy, but it can be done.

 

It's just hard because I often worry myself to death for no reason and if I could get out I would indeed. I know deep down that a deployment will only bring good money and it won't be AS bad once you "get used to it" but it is just a huge hole in my life I don't want but who does right? I can get the "you made your bed now sleep in it" crap all day long but when it comes down to it, theres more to it than that. I know that everything will be ok but it seems like my positive attitude gets it's ass whooped by my negative attitude, I think that's the bi-polar part... and the OCD makes me think about it ALL the damn time which doesn't help my case.

 

Has there been something you've been trying to hide or forget about, perhaps something you are keeping under covers so no one else finds out, and it's causing you a lot of stress? That might explain the nightmares/lack of sleep. But if you've been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder then I believe that is mostly chemical, something you cannot help. Don't stress yourself out by staying in the army. Get out and find some time for you to relax.

 

I think people are saying they would just medicate me vs. getting me out.

 

Being on medication for something like bi-polar disorder is not something I'd want if I were in the army...

 

Hmmm, interesting. If I were in the army (or anywhere else for that matter) with someone who was experiencing bipolar, I'd want them to be on meds.

 

interesting

 

Symptoms don't sound like bipolar to me. I'd try meds before deciding to quit. Private life will not be any better if you have a real psych problem.

Oh, how do I know about bipolar? My first wife, who got worse. The depression part is nothing. Try staying awake for four-plus days and then hearing voices on the manic side. That's dangerous!