Critique my resume
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Joined: Oct 2005
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From: Houston, Texas
A few comments:
Yes, I screwed up in college, but it's not too late to work hard and get my GPA up before graduation.
The internship wasn't really an internship, it was pretty much a summer job, I was getting paid. On paper, however I was an intern. In fact, they offered me a full-time job after the summer at the company. Could I make a reference to that?
I'm working on revising it, will post an update in the morning.
p.s. Excel, thanks for the good analysis. I want my resume to end up in your top pile.
Yes, I screwed up in college, but it's not too late to work hard and get my GPA up before graduation.
The internship wasn't really an internship, it was pretty much a summer job, I was getting paid. On paper, however I was an intern. In fact, they offered me a full-time job after the summer at the company. Could I make a reference to that?
I'm working on revising it, will post an update in the morning.
p.s. Excel, thanks for the good analysis. I want my resume to end up in your top pile.
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 5,094
Likes: 6
From: Vienna, VA
Yes, it would be a good idea to say that your "internship" led to an offer. Why? Because it proves you actually did something right. It not only says that you can do the work, but that you are actually worth hiring. It will give the reader a good impression. It's kind of like how girls like married men...if the man was good enough for one girl to settle with, he must be alright.
I hope I don't sound like an ass when I say this, but while it was good, it was unremarkable.
How do you make it remarkable? Try to quantify some of your accomplishments for one. Just about everyone competing with you can install the latest antivirus software. Perhaps try something more along the lines of "under my supervision, downtime due to viruses was down XX%" That shows a skill and a RESULT. Or, instead of saying you installed a server, perhaps you were able to do it with XX% fewer labor hours than your company norms?
Also, IT NEEDS TO BE ONE PAGE. IMO, only a potential CIO's resume should really be more...and that's pushing it.
I also would not start off with a "strenghts" section. Unless you truly have some remarkable strength that noone else has, get rid of the section. If you can think of some really good ones, put it after the experience, and maybe before the tech skills. When you lead with the strengths you listed, it starts reading like every other resume for those applying for your type of work. I think a screener would just get bored and move on.
Lead with your experience, and BE SURE TO QUANTIFY ACCOMPLISHMENTS; don't just list what you did, but list what you accomplished and how well you did them (numbers would be nice, but don't lie).
Then, maybe go with the tech skills, then finish off with the education. When listing your skills, try to list some uniuqe ones that will set you apart.
If you feel you should have a strengths section list that, and finish off with the education.
Remember, your goal is to WOW the person reading it and secure an interview. Describing yourself is really secondary. This document is your first impression, and it will likely be the only thing considered when skimming a big pile down to 5 or less people to interview. Pertinent things like special skills should be on it, but accomplishments are important. You want people to think hiring you will provide a better return on investment than anyone else. Think along those lines.
You can move around the sections to your liking, but I'd start with the experience myself.
I hope I don't sound like an ass when I say this, but while it was good, it was unremarkable.
How do you make it remarkable? Try to quantify some of your accomplishments for one. Just about everyone competing with you can install the latest antivirus software. Perhaps try something more along the lines of "under my supervision, downtime due to viruses was down XX%" That shows a skill and a RESULT. Or, instead of saying you installed a server, perhaps you were able to do it with XX% fewer labor hours than your company norms?
Also, IT NEEDS TO BE ONE PAGE. IMO, only a potential CIO's resume should really be more...and that's pushing it.
I also would not start off with a "strenghts" section. Unless you truly have some remarkable strength that noone else has, get rid of the section. If you can think of some really good ones, put it after the experience, and maybe before the tech skills. When you lead with the strengths you listed, it starts reading like every other resume for those applying for your type of work. I think a screener would just get bored and move on.
Lead with your experience, and BE SURE TO QUANTIFY ACCOMPLISHMENTS; don't just list what you did, but list what you accomplished and how well you did them (numbers would be nice, but don't lie).
Then, maybe go with the tech skills, then finish off with the education. When listing your skills, try to list some uniuqe ones that will set you apart.
If you feel you should have a strengths section list that, and finish off with the education.
Remember, your goal is to WOW the person reading it and secure an interview. Describing yourself is really secondary. This document is your first impression, and it will likely be the only thing considered when skimming a big pile down to 5 or less people to interview. Pertinent things like special skills should be on it, but accomplishments are important. You want people to think hiring you will provide a better return on investment than anyone else. Think along those lines.
You can move around the sections to your liking, but I'd start with the experience myself.
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 450
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From: Apex NC
I would suggest adding a small objective section at the top that details a little on what sort of position you are looking for. Just a one liner will do. You can tailor it to the job you are applying for if need be.
Also I would suggest cutting it down to just 1 page. Not enough experience to warrant 2 pages.
Also I would suggest cutting it down to just 1 page. Not enough experience to warrant 2 pages.
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Joined: Oct 2005
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From: Houston, Texas
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From: limerick
90% better! You now have a resume thats at least in my keep pile.
I agree with everyone that you need something that makes it personally compelling not only for me to call you but to hire you.
Now write a fantastic objective! Two to three sentences that say you kick ass without being too cocky. If its good enough you're guaranteed an interview.
ONE MORE NOTE:
WRITE A GOOD COVER LETTER! I hate that every other cover letter I get seems to have been written for some other position or another company. You have a whole page to blow smoke up every ones ass, use it wisely and make sure it's not obvious that your blowing smoke up my ass.
GOOD LUCK!
I agree with everyone that you need something that makes it personally compelling not only for me to call you but to hire you.
Now write a fantastic objective! Two to three sentences that say you kick ass without being too cocky. If its good enough you're guaranteed an interview.
ONE MORE NOTE:
WRITE A GOOD COVER LETTER! I hate that every other cover letter I get seems to have been written for some other position or another company. You have a whole page to blow smoke up every ones ass, use it wisely and make sure it's not obvious that your blowing smoke up my ass.
GOOD LUCK!
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From: limerick
Oh God damnit! 11.5 font size for technical skills and 12 point for education 
I'd notice that, but wouldn't hold that lack of attention to detail against you. 
Fix it and of course than I wouldn't notice it. Oh make sure you accept the revisions in word. If you send it electronically make sure the properties of the document doesn't have company XYZ where you work now or author = ted nuggent etc and the when I look at the revisions I can't see all the changes you've made to it in the past...
I'd notice that, but wouldn't hold that lack of attention to detail against you. Fix it and of course than I wouldn't notice it. Oh make sure you accept the revisions in word. If you send it electronically make sure the properties of the document doesn't have company XYZ where you work now or author = ted nuggent etc and the when I look at the revisions I can't see all the changes you've made to it in the past...