Critique my resume
Thread Starter
Registered User
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 25,683
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From: Houston, Texas
Wow excel, you're really thorough. You've helped me out a lot.
What exactly is the purpose of the cover letter? Do I need one if I'm applying online, for example on monster?
How is this for an objective statement:
Seeking a position in Information Technology where my diverse experience will add value to operations
What exactly is the purpose of the cover letter? Do I need one if I'm applying online, for example on monster?
How is this for an objective statement:
Seeking a position in Information Technology where my diverse experience will add value to operations
Registered User
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 492
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From: here, there, and everywhere
It might be helpful if more of us would post our resumes to serve as examples. We could get ideas from each other and everyone could improve. I will put mine up as soon as I make some revisions based on the helpful information already posted. This could be the beginning of the s2ki career center.
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Joined: Jan 2004
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From: limerick
That objective can be better, be creative. When your driving around, coming home from work whatever. Keep talking it out until you got something you think is motivating. I have a good one for my industry but hell if I can remember it. I don't send out resumes anymore I get hired and then i have to update the resume and hand it to someone that just puts it in a file and never looks at it,, but its still good.
I suggest one more stop along your path to a great resume. Find an English major 4.0 student, preferably a hot blonde to look it over and critique it. Be aware that often they will make somethings illegible for the majority of us. You know you'll be like WTF does that mean and why would you put a semicolon there? If it gets like that ask them to help you rewrite the sentence so that a normal not so literate person could read it.
A cover letter is what you send in with your resume to a company.
Cover letter is simply My name is xyz and I'm interested in abc position. etc... (make it more engaging than that)
Posting on monster is great but I would recommend finding potential employers yourself.
I.E. hit the street and find out who the good companies in your area are. You'll be surprised about whats in the office complex down the street from you, it might be the best company in the world to work for and if you go to them you might end up considering yourself the luckiest guy in the world when you find out their bonus package is based off profit increases and that last year the average check was between 10 and 20k.
I'm not really thorough, I couldn't tell you squat about what your resume says now, only that it presented well. Basically I look for resumes that have attention to detail. Content at you level of experience or for the most part any resume isn't that important to me. If I find a grammar mistake (I'm the pot calling the kettle black) or a spelling mistake you get thrown out. I mean come on these people are asking for a job and people seem to not want to be bothered perfecting the resume! Spend 8 hours on it make it spit shine, you're going to recycle it later anyway, its not like the time is going out the window. Oh yeah I look for length of employment in jobs, your about to commit a sin in my book. Typically people with 2 or less years of experience at job upon job say three in a row are bad employees. They usually are pushed out of their positions or they just realized it was time for them to go or get fired. I've never seen anyone with 3 2 year jobs last more than 2 years all the time people are waiting for them to get fired or leave
GOOD LUCK
You'll be fine. Oh yeah when you get an interview have a lot of questions to ask every one that you're interviewing with. If you get them talking about the most important thing in the world "themselves" they will like you even if they've done 99% of the talking.
I'll post my resume once I can find it
I suggest one more stop along your path to a great resume. Find an English major 4.0 student, preferably a hot blonde to look it over and critique it. Be aware that often they will make somethings illegible for the majority of us. You know you'll be like WTF does that mean and why would you put a semicolon there? If it gets like that ask them to help you rewrite the sentence so that a normal not so literate person could read it.
A cover letter is what you send in with your resume to a company.
Cover letter is simply My name is xyz and I'm interested in abc position. etc... (make it more engaging than that)
Posting on monster is great but I would recommend finding potential employers yourself.
I.E. hit the street and find out who the good companies in your area are. You'll be surprised about whats in the office complex down the street from you, it might be the best company in the world to work for and if you go to them you might end up considering yourself the luckiest guy in the world when you find out their bonus package is based off profit increases and that last year the average check was between 10 and 20k.
I'm not really thorough, I couldn't tell you squat about what your resume says now, only that it presented well. Basically I look for resumes that have attention to detail. Content at you level of experience or for the most part any resume isn't that important to me. If I find a grammar mistake (I'm the pot calling the kettle black) or a spelling mistake you get thrown out. I mean come on these people are asking for a job and people seem to not want to be bothered perfecting the resume! Spend 8 hours on it make it spit shine, you're going to recycle it later anyway, its not like the time is going out the window. Oh yeah I look for length of employment in jobs, your about to commit a sin in my book. Typically people with 2 or less years of experience at job upon job say three in a row are bad employees. They usually are pushed out of their positions or they just realized it was time for them to go or get fired. I've never seen anyone with 3 2 year jobs last more than 2 years all the time people are waiting for them to get fired or leave
GOOD LUCK
You'll be fine. Oh yeah when you get an interview have a lot of questions to ask every one that you're interviewing with. If you get them talking about the most important thing in the world "themselves" they will like you even if they've done 99% of the talking.
I'll post my resume once I can find it
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 19,734
Likes: 247
A few points to change:
"Assemble and provide support for fifty desktop machines and close to ten printers"
Close to ten printers? Nine and a half? 8.42? Either say "ten printers" or else clearly quantify how many it was. If it was nine, say nine. If it was nine and you want to round it up, say ten. Don't say "close to ten."
"Under my supervision downtime due to viruses was completely eliminated"
Revise to "Eliminated system downtime due to viruses" (during working hours, I assume - ie, no work time was lost, though you probably still had downtime to upgrade/protect/etc, etc). If not, reword anyways. That's a very poor sentence.
Your resume is definitely improved compared to your original, though.
"Assemble and provide support for fifty desktop machines and close to ten printers"
Close to ten printers? Nine and a half? 8.42? Either say "ten printers" or else clearly quantify how many it was. If it was nine, say nine. If it was nine and you want to round it up, say ten. Don't say "close to ten."
"Under my supervision downtime due to viruses was completely eliminated"
Revise to "Eliminated system downtime due to viruses" (during working hours, I assume - ie, no work time was lost, though you probably still had downtime to upgrade/protect/etc, etc). If not, reword anyways. That's a very poor sentence.
Your resume is definitely improved compared to your original, though.
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 2,897
Likes: 1
From: Cherry Hill, NJ
One other thing. The following section should be adjusted to be all past tense, as that will match the rest of your resume.
• Manage a team of three workers for close to a year
"Managed"
• Provided primary support for the CIC (Customer Interaction Center) phone system including developing new handlers, debugging old ones and using logs to troubleshoot problems
• Assemble and install five new servers, each time having only an 8-hour window for the install
"Assembled and installed"...etc.
• Assemble and provide support for fifty desktop machines and close to ten printers
• Maintain and develop new modules for custom order entry, order processing and reporting software
• Manage a team of three workers for close to a year
"Managed"
• Provided primary support for the CIC (Customer Interaction Center) phone system including developing new handlers, debugging old ones and using logs to troubleshoot problems
• Assemble and install five new servers, each time having only an 8-hour window for the install
"Assembled and installed"...etc.
• Assemble and provide support for fifty desktop machines and close to ten printers
• Maintain and develop new modules for custom order entry, order processing and reporting software
Thread Starter
Registered User
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 25,683
Likes: 1
From: Houston, Texas
I feel like this version is ready to submit to employers. I just have to write the cover letters.
http://lgyeresi.googlepages.com/resume5web.doc
Also a very big thank you to everyone who helped out.
Excel, I'm only 19 years old, does that make a difference in what you said about logetivity? The reason I'm leaving is because I got a new boss, and quite frankly he's not a good one. Otherwise I would stay. Should I include that in my cover letter?
http://lgyeresi.googlepages.com/resume5web.doc
Also a very big thank you to everyone who helped out.
Excel, I'm only 19 years old, does that make a difference in what you said about logetivity? The reason I'm leaving is because I got a new boss, and quite frankly he's not a good one. Otherwise I would stay. Should I include that in my cover letter?