American Woman

First date:
You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date:
You get to grope all over and make out a bit.
Third date:
You get to have sex but only in the missionary position.

IRISH WOMEN:

First Date:
You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date:
You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary:
You both get blind drunk and have sex.

ITALIAN WOMEN:

First Date:
You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date:
You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs.
Third Date:
You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3-carat ring.
5th Anniversary:
You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex.
6th Anniversary:
You find yourself a Mistress.

CHINESE WOMEN:

First date:
You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date:
You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
Third date:
You don't even get to the third date and you've already realized nothing
is ever going to happen.


INDIAN WOMEN:

First date:
Meet her parents.
Second date:
Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.

AFRICAN/AMERICAN WOMEN:

First Date:
You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date:
You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
Third Date:
You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date:
She's pregnant by someone other than you.

MEXICAN WOMEN:

First Date:
You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in
the back of her car.
Second Date:
She's pregnant.
Third Date:
She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, his girlfriend, her
two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father's
girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his
three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your
life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along
the Tijuana strip.

ARAB WOMEN:

First Date:
Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Friends and entire Arab community finds out.
Second Date:
Guy is shot dead.
No third date!!!

LEBANESE WOMEN:

First Date:
You will have to spend all your money to impress
Second Date:
You will take a loan to keep the image
Third Date :
Your are broke, she finds someone wealthier

 

 

 

All of the above is true.

 

Zomax:

First date:
You take him out to dinner and he tells you he is an MD for 4 hours.
Second date:
He picks you up in his Miata and you refuse to get in.
Third date:
He leaves 40 voicemails with stupid questions and you never see him again.

 

 

The African-American and Mexican ones are a little racist, but all of them are funny.

 

 

Explain how its racist? They all are semi-exaggerated stereotypes. Just because it talks about Hispanics and "African-American" (phuck being politically correct. They're not African at all. They may have ancestors from Africa but they are 100% American like you and me. Do we say that I'm "German-American" after my family has been living in America for 5 generations?)

 

's !!!!!!