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F my life..

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Old Mar 14, 2009 | 02:25 PM
  #1  
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Default F my life..

http://www.fmylife.com/


Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "Be my baby's daddy!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Today, my boyfriend called, asking, before I could even talk, to bring a condom- NOW. I had to smile at this request. I went to his house. A blond girl opened the door. He followed shortly, surprised to see me. I'm Celine. She's Cecile. Our names are one apart on his cell. She's my sister. FML
Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML
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Old Mar 14, 2009 | 03:04 PM
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That site is funny...
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Old Mar 14, 2009 | 05:38 PM
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lol

Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML
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Old Mar 14, 2009 | 07:35 PM
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Today, this really attractive woman that I've known for years told me that when I can have sex with her standing up, she'll have sex with me. I'm confined to a wheelchair. FML

Today, I went to my first strip club for my friends birthday. I also found out what my girlfriend does for a living. FML

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML

Today, I found out that I am 14 weeks pregnant. The father of the baby is now engaged to my best friend, whom he was cheating on me with when I became pregnant. I'm going to be the maid of honor, 8 months pregnant with his child, at their wedding. FML
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Old Mar 14, 2009 | 10:25 PM
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Great site
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Old Mar 15, 2009 | 12:41 AM
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The first one cracked me up.
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Old Mar 15, 2009 | 09:04 AM
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https://www.s2ki.com/forums/index.php?showt...&#entry15425638

FML
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Old Mar 15, 2009 | 10:04 AM
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Originally Posted by wickerbill,Mar 14 2009, 07:35 PM

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML
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Old Mar 15, 2009 | 12:43 PM
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From: All up in your inner tubes. Whatcha gonna do sucka?
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Originally Posted by 8D_In_Trunk,Mar 15 2009, 11:04 AM
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Old Mar 15, 2009 | 03:16 PM
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Awesome, bookmarking that site..
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