Funny Story! - Stripped Down Civic
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 86
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From: SF Bay Area
Funny Story! - Stripped Down Civic
Don't know if this is a repost but my buddy sent it to me from the "E46 Fanatics" site. I was just rolling while reading it so I thought I'd share...
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Stripped Down Civic
by Nude_Rider, 19, male
Topic: Car Racing - Street
March 13, 2002
Hey WASSSSSSSSSSSSSSUp fellow street RaCers,
So here's my story. I have a auto 1998 Honda Civic EX with the following mods:
1)K&N Oil Filter: cause clean oil means faster car.
2)Aluminum oil cap to save weight and to dissipate heat faster.
3)I only use Mobil Super Premium gas, and I only put in 1.47 gallons of gas at a time to save weight.
4)Installed the tornado air system in my car. It makes the air in my intake swirl and go faster.
5) Carbon Fiber Exhaust Tip cause that's what the pros use, enough said.
Now here's the reason why I win so much because my car is so light, here's what I've done so far:
6)I weigh 112 lbs of pure Vietnamese fury. I also don't wear any clothes when I race, due to my strict weight restrictions. It's an awesome feeling being so free and one with the car.
7)Aftermarket aluminum pedals cause they weigh so little also they move back faster when I step on the gas, this mod probably takes .5-1 second off my 1/4 mile alone.
8)I removed the head and armrest to reduce weight.
9)After losing to a Trans-am I decided to shave my pubes and I took off my hub caps and Honda logo, now my car flies.
So as you can tell, my car is pretty fast and dangerous. Anyways enough with the technical stuff and on with the story. I was driving my civic home from work at a Chinese restaurant were I deliver. Before I got into my car, I pumped a couple gallons of gas out of my car, then I took off my clothes much to the ladies delight .
I was rally racing through the traffic like a champ when I saw this white V6 mustang with a guy and I guess his girlfriend inside with him. I pulled up next to them blasting my stock sound system to the max, playing my trance when the girl looked over in my direction to check me out. I rolled down my window and was like "Wasssup Baby, you want some of this" and she turned away. I could tell she was into me but she was shy. The stupid white guy inside said to me "hey ass, f**k off." I got pretty upset at this and wanted to show them all my car's power, so while I waited for the light to turn green, I practiced fake shifting with my d**k, which was hard due to the upcoming race. I put the car into neutral to let it roll back like a manual.
But then all of a sudden a great problem occurred, a fly had landed on my hood, now my light weight advantage might be lost. So I got out of the car and ran toward my hood with my d**k flapping along between my legs. I brushed the fly off and started walking back to my car, cause there was a race to be won. As I was getting in the guy in the car chucked a beer can at my soft virgin ass, STUPID RED NECK!! So I decided to piss on his car, this also helped bring down my weight to 111.98 lbs. I then got in, buckled my seat belt (safety first) and got in full race mode.
When the light turned green I pretend-shifted into first I revved it up to 7,000 grand I love the sound of Vtec So when I hit 15mph I pretend shifted into second and kept it there till thirty until I pretend shifted again, damn that's a lot of shifting but that's what being a street racer is all about. I could feel the g-forces acting on me cause my d**k got sucked in to my body due to the thunderous acceleration. When I hit thirty I was like hell yeah, take that white-trash. Then all of a sudden the mustang blew past me. He must have tricked out his car or something. So I dropped the car back into neutral to pretend I missed my next shift.
At the next traffic signal, I was next to the girl again and I said "Hey baby, I missed my shift thinking about your fine ass" she started blushing. I mean can you resist a hot, sweaty, naked Racer/Romeo driving a super fast car. Her boyfriend looked pissed as f**k, but hey its not my fault I'm a total chick magnet. She was about to open her mouth to respond but the light turned green and I was off like a pro cause I got no time for small talk when I'm in my supercar. This time I took no chances so I took my car all the way up to 9,000 rpm and my engine exploded. But that's the price I guess you pay when you live life in the fast lane.
Just remember always if you ever see a handsome naked AZN driving a sexy civic watch out cause looks can be deceiving and trust me you don't want to be on the receiving end of my fury. PeAcE OuT PeoPle
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Stripped Down Civic
by Nude_Rider, 19, male
Topic: Car Racing - Street
March 13, 2002
Hey WASSSSSSSSSSSSSSUp fellow street RaCers,
So here's my story. I have a auto 1998 Honda Civic EX with the following mods:
1)K&N Oil Filter: cause clean oil means faster car.
2)Aluminum oil cap to save weight and to dissipate heat faster.
3)I only use Mobil Super Premium gas, and I only put in 1.47 gallons of gas at a time to save weight.
4)Installed the tornado air system in my car. It makes the air in my intake swirl and go faster.
5) Carbon Fiber Exhaust Tip cause that's what the pros use, enough said.
Now here's the reason why I win so much because my car is so light, here's what I've done so far:
6)I weigh 112 lbs of pure Vietnamese fury. I also don't wear any clothes when I race, due to my strict weight restrictions. It's an awesome feeling being so free and one with the car.
7)Aftermarket aluminum pedals cause they weigh so little also they move back faster when I step on the gas, this mod probably takes .5-1 second off my 1/4 mile alone.
8)I removed the head and armrest to reduce weight.
9)After losing to a Trans-am I decided to shave my pubes and I took off my hub caps and Honda logo, now my car flies.
So as you can tell, my car is pretty fast and dangerous. Anyways enough with the technical stuff and on with the story. I was driving my civic home from work at a Chinese restaurant were I deliver. Before I got into my car, I pumped a couple gallons of gas out of my car, then I took off my clothes much to the ladies delight .
I was rally racing through the traffic like a champ when I saw this white V6 mustang with a guy and I guess his girlfriend inside with him. I pulled up next to them blasting my stock sound system to the max, playing my trance when the girl looked over in my direction to check me out. I rolled down my window and was like "Wasssup Baby, you want some of this" and she turned away. I could tell she was into me but she was shy. The stupid white guy inside said to me "hey ass, f**k off." I got pretty upset at this and wanted to show them all my car's power, so while I waited for the light to turn green, I practiced fake shifting with my d**k, which was hard due to the upcoming race. I put the car into neutral to let it roll back like a manual.
But then all of a sudden a great problem occurred, a fly had landed on my hood, now my light weight advantage might be lost. So I got out of the car and ran toward my hood with my d**k flapping along between my legs. I brushed the fly off and started walking back to my car, cause there was a race to be won. As I was getting in the guy in the car chucked a beer can at my soft virgin ass, STUPID RED NECK!! So I decided to piss on his car, this also helped bring down my weight to 111.98 lbs. I then got in, buckled my seat belt (safety first) and got in full race mode.
When the light turned green I pretend-shifted into first I revved it up to 7,000 grand I love the sound of Vtec So when I hit 15mph I pretend shifted into second and kept it there till thirty until I pretend shifted again, damn that's a lot of shifting but that's what being a street racer is all about. I could feel the g-forces acting on me cause my d**k got sucked in to my body due to the thunderous acceleration. When I hit thirty I was like hell yeah, take that white-trash. Then all of a sudden the mustang blew past me. He must have tricked out his car or something. So I dropped the car back into neutral to pretend I missed my next shift.
At the next traffic signal, I was next to the girl again and I said "Hey baby, I missed my shift thinking about your fine ass" she started blushing. I mean can you resist a hot, sweaty, naked Racer/Romeo driving a super fast car. Her boyfriend looked pissed as f**k, but hey its not my fault I'm a total chick magnet. She was about to open her mouth to respond but the light turned green and I was off like a pro cause I got no time for small talk when I'm in my supercar. This time I took no chances so I took my car all the way up to 9,000 rpm and my engine exploded. But that's the price I guess you pay when you live life in the fast lane.
Just remember always if you ever see a handsome naked AZN driving a sexy civic watch out cause looks can be deceiving and trust me you don't want to be on the receiving end of my fury. PeAcE OuT PeoPle
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 86
Likes: 0
From: SF Bay Area
Originally posted by 8900s2k
That is too funny , can you post the link from the forum it came from ??
That is too funny , can you post the link from the forum it came from ??
http://forum.e46fanatics.com/showthread.ph...?threadid=58110
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