Girlfriend of 3 Years Broke Up By Cheating on Me
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 7,636
Likes: 45
From: Basking Ridge, New Jersey
wow dude it's hard to know where to begin. This is like me loaning out my car with the promise that you don't vtec it and if you do I want full disclosure beforehand so we can talk about how and why the Vtec is taking place. Then I get pissed because one sunny day you happened to find the perfect road...
So your gf that you allow to cheat on you and you with her did so and now you don't know what to do? please tell us you are 21, you've learned something so we can all move on.
So your gf that you allow to cheat on you and you with her did so and now you don't know what to do? please tell us you are 21, you've learned something so we can all move on.
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 29,896
Likes: 5,435
From: Ontario Canada
open relationships have a high chance of leading to problems IMO.
Love yourself first and to hell with others. Move on and as long as you still have your S2000 you are ahead of the game. Whatever you do, never take her back. This was a clear sign that it wasn't meant to be. Be happy.
Love yourself first and to hell with others. Move on and as long as you still have your S2000 you are ahead of the game. Whatever you do, never take her back. This was a clear sign that it wasn't meant to be. Be happy.
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 327
Likes: 1
Registered User
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 3,124
Likes: 0
From: Greenville, SC
I find it hard to reconcile "explore other people" and "no desire to break up." I guess now that I'm in my 30s, married, and thinking with the big head and not the small one anymore I have come to value commitment and dedication in a monogamous relationship. When I was younger (as I assume you are) and in my late teens and early twenties I had a good number of short time girlfriends, but at no time did I ever want to have an open relationship. For one, I don't want someone banging my girlfriend. Two, it's not fair for me to be sharing an intimate thing like sex with someone other than the person I am suppose to be dating. Three, it opens up a greater potential for one person to spread STDs with the other. Four, it would jeopardize trust, and if there's no trust then the relationship is in serious trouble. Five, and maybe the most important, respect is lost. It's because of a lack of respect that set rules are broken in a relationship. It is YOUR job to both respect your partner and require that they also respect you.
If you're not in a serious relationship and just dating around I assume that an open relationship is ok, but it sounds like you both really cared for each other, but permissive and open sexual rules in the relationship really did you in. Once you open that door to allow her go have sex with other people it basically says "I don't respect you and you shouldn't respect me either" and it's damn near impossible to shut that door once it's opened. Plus, she could have sex with someone that is better than you in bed...and then what?!
I kid...well sorta.
I'm not trying to criticize your beliefs or whatever, but just trying to give you some experienced and first-hand advice.
If you're not in a serious relationship and just dating around I assume that an open relationship is ok, but it sounds like you both really cared for each other, but permissive and open sexual rules in the relationship really did you in. Once you open that door to allow her go have sex with other people it basically says "I don't respect you and you shouldn't respect me either" and it's damn near impossible to shut that door once it's opened. Plus, she could have sex with someone that is better than you in bed...and then what?!
I kid...well sorta.I'm not trying to criticize your beliefs or whatever, but just trying to give you some experienced and first-hand advice.
This.
It sucks you had your heart broken, but honestly its not surprising given the circumstances. You can't get attached in that type of arrangement. If thats the sort of thing you're into then make sure you understand that this result is not uncommon.
Now go boost your S2k and choo-choo all over the place!
Registered User
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 761
Likes: 6
Sorry for you pain and loss but quite frankly the words rules and open relationship cant be in the same sentence. If it was an open relationship you should've never gotten emotionally attached to her. Ive been in this situation many times with good women and the common slore so if I know its an "open" relationship then I make sure its just physical and my emotions are not involved so when the time comes its easy to cut her off . I truly think you wanted more and never let her know and now its too late but as mentioned before keep yourself busy and distracted with what you love to do for fun or hobby and always remember there's other fish in the sea..
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 11,950
Likes: 474
From: MAHT-O-MEDI
Sorry I am late to the party on this one but this one is easy.......
Just grow a bigger pair and move on. There will be much better fish in the sea, trust me. The world is full of hot girls, and since you had the open thing going, you did not care that much about her any way.
As far as you are concerned, she is now just a dirty whore covered in herpes. You are better off not wasting anymore time. Call up the bros and hit the town. And skip some of that car part money and hit Vegas. I was there last week and the scene at the Aria pool was a target rich environment. Well, for you anyway, my wife was sitting there at the pool with me.
Good luck in the future. And depending on how long you have been on this board, the standard response for what to do if she comes crawling back is PIIHB.
Just grow a bigger pair and move on. There will be much better fish in the sea, trust me. The world is full of hot girls, and since you had the open thing going, you did not care that much about her any way.
As far as you are concerned, she is now just a dirty whore covered in herpes. You are better off not wasting anymore time. Call up the bros and hit the town. And skip some of that car part money and hit Vegas. I was there last week and the scene at the Aria pool was a target rich environment. Well, for you anyway, my wife was sitting there at the pool with me.
Good luck in the future. And depending on how long you have been on this board, the standard response for what to do if she comes crawling back is PIIHB.
Moderator
Joined: Sep 2004
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From: SJC