van

Every day a 4th grade boy walks home from school past a 4th
grade girl's house.
One day he is carrying a football, and he stops to taunt the
little girl. He holds up the football and says "See this football?
Football is a boy's game and girls can't have one!" The little girl runs in the house crying and tells her mother about the encounter.. She runs out and buys the girl a football.The next day the boy is riding home on his bike, and the girl shows him the football, yelling "Nah na nah na nah!" The little boy
gets mad and points to his bike. "See this bike? This is a boy's bike, and girls can't have them!" Next day, the boy comes by and the little girl is riding a new boy's bike. Now he is really mad. He drops his pants, points at his most private of
parts, and says "You see THIS? Only BOYS have these and your mother can't go buy you
one!"The next day as he passes the house he asks the little girl,
"Well, what do you have to say NOW?" So she pulls up her dress and says..."My mother told me that as long as I have one of these, I can have asmany of THOSE as I want!

ninethreeeleven

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.
The first little boy was called upon. He walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down.
Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was. "It's a period," said the little boy.
"Well, I can see that." she said, "but what is so exciting about a period?"
"Darned if I know," said the little boy, "but this morning my 16 year old sister was missing one, Dad had a heart attack, Mom fainted, and the man next door shot himself."

davidq37

gomarlins3

Now it's the comedy hour. Actually, those were pretty good.

mingster

Russian

A man is sitting at home one day watching television when his girlfriend suddenly bursts through the front door crying. He looks over to her and asks her, "What's wrong?" She looks at him and screams a stream of obscenity at him before running off to their bedroom.

Confused, the man stands up and walks into the bedroom where he sees his girlfriend packing up all her clothes. He asks her what's the matter again, but she just screams at him some more until he finally sits her down on the bed and calms her down.

"Why are you acting this way?" he asks her.

"I was talking to my friend today," she tells him between sniffs, "and she told me you were a pedophile."

The man chuckles and shakes his head before saying, "Pedophile? That's an awfully big word for an eight year-old."

gomarlins3

^Huh?

rubyrashel

I guess the man in Russians joke was R. Kelly

ninethreeeleven

Larry wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Larry looks around the room and sees that it is in a perfect order, spotless, clean. So's the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you."
So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Larry asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door."
Confused, Larry asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off you said, "Lady leave me alone, I'm married'!"

ninethreeeleven

I also know 2 terrible pedophile jokes, that I wont post, PM me if you want them.