Originally Posted by 8D_In_Trunk,Dec 19 2008, 04:35 PM

1. Figure out how much you're going to need.
2. Go to the ATM. . .or mattress. . . whatever
3. Call the "dude"
4. After telling dude how much you need, dude tells you he's got some "primo" stuff
5. Go back to the ATM. . . or mattress. . . the "primo" stuff costs more (obviously)
6. Drive over to the drop . . . which is always bitch-ass 20 minutes away from where you're at
7. Wait for 10 minutes until the dude shows up . . . by this point, you're scared shitless about getting even your beater car stolen. . . save nothing of the cash on you. . .
8. You get the stuff. . . guy insists on counting the cash right in front of you; as if he's never done business with you before.
9. The dude, already a little keyed-up, begins rambling about how shitty things have been since he's gotten this primo stuff, but how it's all going to help him out getting everybody "taken care of" for his "next big thing." Foolishly, he begins talking about the "next big thing" about how he's finally going to go legit, and starts droning on and on about raising Alpacas up in the hills and about how farm life has to be better than doing this and is wondering if you're going to stop by his New Year's Party it'll be off the chain everybody who you never wanted to meet is going to be there and there will be all these hot chicks and it'll be just great and he'll show the Alpaca fur that got him thinking about that great idea about going legit. . . and man this is good primo shit. . .
10. Your beater now needs a jump
11. You have to get a jump in a sketchy neighborhood
12. A little keyed-up yourself, you now have got the eye-of-the-tiger, and decide to run a few blocks (read: 3 miles) to your buddy's place in the cold. . . totally uncaring of the felonious amounts on your person.
13. You have a few beers to take the edge off. . . he starts talking about running into some dude who was talking about Alpaca fur. . . again. . .
14. The two of you get your edge on as you get into the car.
15. Pick up the beater.
16. Drive home.
17. Get some bubbles on ice, call the girl
18. Party all night
19. Get a call at 4pm the next day from the girlfriend, looking to do it all over again. . .
20. . . . and between the chick, your friend who gave you the jump, and Capt. Alpaca, you realize you're out. . . again.

Originally Posted by KeithMajkasays,Jul 10 2009, 10:17 AM

you better hurry up and buy www.alpaca-trauma.com